Medical Dental Dummy

Medical Dental Dummy
Ummm, no. Just no. The seller says that this Medical Dental Dummy was used at a college in Los Altos Hills, California as a practice patient for dental students. Care to guess how many suicides took place there? I have no idea, but I would have taken one look at this thing and tossed myself out the nearest window. And if I landed on the grass to find out I was on the first floor? I would have ran back inside and taken the elevator to the top and done it again.

Check out a close up of the teeth in the second pic below. Kids got some choppers. He looks stoned as hell. Like, “Dude, just do whatever. I am so baked. Let me help you learn dentistry bra!”
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Brain Coffee Mug

brain mug
My brain isn’t awake until it has had at least one cup of coffee. This Brain Coffee Mug is exactly what I need to stare at while my own brain is getting kickstarted. I won’t have any idea what the hell any of this fancy medical stuff means, so I’ll just feel dumb.

This mug will remind me that I am just a sack of meat with a lump of cauliflower between my ears telling me not to eat so much junk food. Screw you brain, what do you know? *Everything* Well, yeah. Technically you know everything, but can you can’t do squat without my motor control. So there.

*Half hour later*

Stupid brain. I can’t believe I let you take control of my body and made me make a healthy salad. Now it’s on! Now do you see why I pig out? Just for that I am going on an all night pastry binge! And stop making me talk all awkward to the girls I meet, or I swear I’ll fill ya so full of Jack Daniels you’ll think you are in a specimen jar. Stupid brain. Drinking is the only time I get any peace.

Brain Specimen Coasters

brain specimen drink coasters
Hey! Don’t put your drink on my coffee table and stain it! Use your brain! Oh, I see you brought your own Brain Specimen Coasters. I didn’t mean that so literally, but cool. Pass me a slice for my Mountain Dew.

So…Hard to talk about anything else when you got slices of brain all over your table. I can’t think of anything cerebral to say. Uh, you didn’t actually make those yourself right? No, I don’t want to know. Thanks for giving me a piece of your mind, by the way. I hate spillage and stains on my table. Yet I don’t seem to mind brains. Is that weird?
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This Veins and Arteries Necklace Set Is A Real Pain In The Neck

veins and arteries necklace
Whoa! This Veins and Arteries Necklace Set makes it look like you have some serious blood problems, because everyone can see your veins.

You’re so vein. You probably think this post is about you. Don’t you? Don’t you? Don’t you?

This 2 necklace set puts your insides on your outside. Not for me though. Veiny days and Mondays always get me down. And that’s all of the music jokes I’m writing today, because you young whippersnappers won’t even get it. Seriously. Listen to some music from before you were born once in a while. I practice what I preach. Which is why I have an old-timey wax cylinder record player with a giant cone for a speaker. Got a date with a flapper tonight too. Hoping to get all dirty and nasty up in this hizzouse and see some ankle.

Human Skeleton Playing Cards

human skeleton playing cards
The head bone’s connected to the neck bone. The neck bone’s connected to the shoulder bone… I can’t get that song out of my head now. Well, if you want to learn about bones and win some money in a card game at the same time… Well, that probably makes you a Doctor with a gambling problem, but that’s okay.

Even if you aren’t a fancy Doctor, these Human Skeleton Playing Cards will teach you everything you need to know in case you ever have to do surgery in a grimy back alley, with sirens wailing nearby. Been there, done that! Doodled my way through the court proceedings!

They feature the names of the bones in English, Spanish and French. It’s practically like back alley med school for three different countries!