Tag: anatomy

Heart Anatomy Coasters

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Heart Anatomy Coasters
When people come to my house and have a drink, I break out these sweet Heart Anatomy Coasters and I start singing, all like, “I’m gonna harden my heart. I’m gonna swallow my tears. Gonna turn and le-heave yo-hoo here ah ah.” Then I put the Yoo-hoo on the coaster, cuz I’m all about avoiding spillage.

Sometimes I’ll be all like “Don’t go breakin’ my heart.” And then they’ll be all like, “I couldn’t if I tried.” Then I’m like, “Honey if I get restless…” And they answer, “Baby you’re not that type.” And they’re right, so we just leave it at that.
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Custom Pet Skull Portraits

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Custom Pet Skull Portraits
If you want to see what your pet looks like on the inside, commission one of these Custom Pet Skull Portraits. Or you could do like I did and get an X-ray of your pet, spend like two hours collaging the X-ray and the picture together with staples, glue, moist tic-tacs, duct tape and thumb tacks. Do not recommend. Unless you want your animal looking like a reanimated mutant freak.
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Vertebrae Tea Light Candles

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Vertebrae Tea Light Candles
Show some backbone. These Vertebrae Tea Light Candles will help. They go well with Vertebrae Shot Glasses. Just be careful, this is one time when a slipped disc can burn the house down.

Light these candles for a romantic evening. Then say, “Baby, you set my spine on fire.” To which she will say, “What the hell is wrong with you?” And you will be alone. Again. With your still burning candles.

Human Heart Candle – Turn On Your Heart Light

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Human Heart Candle - Turn On Your Heart Light
Boom-boom. Boom-boom. Boom-boom. That’s the sound this Human Heart Candle makes. What, yours is all pitter patter? Yeah, but did you have a six pack of Red Bull and a bag of Oreos? That’s what I thought. Uh-oh. Just started going boom boom boom. *Listens with my stethoscope against the heart. Heart puffs up and then contracts. Something smells funny. I look at the patient.* Did you just heart in here?

Have a heart and heart this hearty heart. I bet you don’t drive much Mr.Heart, cuz I can see you lack the blood vessels. Zing! I like you so much I’m gonna give you an award. Here have this plaque. Oh… Looks like you have enough already. Zing! Alright, don’t have a coronary!

Human Anatomy Tumblers

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Human Anatomy Tumblers
I’ll tumble for ya. I’ll tumble for ya. I’ll tumble for you! Get out of my head Boy George! Anyway, these Human Anatomy Tumblers will teach you all about the grossness that is the human body as you sip your morning coffee, which is laced with bourbon to get you through the day. What? That’s just me? Okay, cool. One is all about the body and the other is all about the brain. Both are about being filled with liquid. Much like my bladder. So if you will excuse me I have to-

There’s no excuse for you.

Hey, shut up stupid neighbor kid yelling through my window. I’m blogging here.

So shut your blog-hole and stop blogging out loud! *Shows kid these anatomy cups. Kid runs away crying.* Mom, the creepy guy grossed me out again!
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