Monster Toad Head

monster toad head
Ribbit! Hey, look. A giant Monster Toad Head. I should totally kiss it and turn it into a Prince. Just to end it’s imprisonment. *Smooches it’s slimy face.* Well, that didn’t work. He’s still a toad. *Looks in the mirror.* What the deuce?!?! I’m a Prince. And not some dude that’s next in line to run a kingdom. I’m Prince as in Raspberry Beret. The kind you buy from the second hand store. This is friggin’ awesome. *Adjusts my frilly shirt.*

I’m out guys. Tonight I’m gonna party like it’s 1999, which means I have to buy a flip-phone and get ready for Y2K.
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All 47 Vice Presidents With Octopuses On Their Heads

All 47 Vice Presidents With Octopuses On Their Heads
This ink/watercolor print goes Full Veeptopus. Showing all 47 Vice Presidents with Octopuses on Their Heads. I know what you’re thinking. Why just the Veeps? Every politician acts like they have an octopus on their head.

Well, I have no idea. I just know that the President is a puppet, being controlled by one giant octopus that lives in the whitehouse ceiling. It doesn’t have suckers on it’s tentacles. Because we are the suckers.
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Walking Spider Eyeball

Walking Eyeball Spider
If the Illuminati has spy equipment and you know they do, this is what it would look like. When it’s masters aren’t keeping tabs on the likes of Jay-Z and Lady Gaga, this thing probably wonders into your home to keep it’s eye on you. All because you typed something weird into a search engine. It happened to me, it can happen to you. Hey, I’m a blogger. My search history is supposed to be weird. What’s your excuse?

I bet they named it something cool like Iris. Who do you think taught this Walking Spider Eyeball it’s trade? I have no idea, but it was a good pupil. Are these jokes corny-a? Going now.

Kraken Tentacle Wall Decals

Kraken tentacles wall decal
Hey, what’s Kraken? These Kraken Tentacle Wall Decals, that’s what? It wants to give you a big hug, then pull you down to drown in the murky depths. Kind of like my Aunt Louise always did, except she’ll pinch your cheeks first, then pull you in for a hug so you can suffocate in her massive bosoms. That might not have been so bad, but Aunt Louise used to be Aunt Louie. I had an awkward childhood.

At family get-togethers my dad would hold him/her back at the door, then yell, “Unleash the Kraken!” and all the kids would run. I was always too slow.
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