Tag: art

Fantasy Creatures From Another Dimension

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Creepy Little Creatures
I’m pretty sure these Fantasy Creatures from Sweetsign would bite my hand off if I tried to pet them. So I’ll probably never ever touch them. I’ll just throw bed crumbs at them, until I have a huge mound of moldy bread in front of the shelf that they are occupying. Then I still won’t feel safe. And I’ll have bugs. Which they will probably love. They’ll come off of the shelf, eat a few bread bugs, then go back to displaying themselves. Then they’ll demand more bugs. Which takes more moldy bread….

What I’m trying to say is, this is why my house is a pigsty. You think I like living like this? I got freaky little creatures to feed! I used this same line on my wife when we first started dating. Sucker! *Runs around the room like a Tasmanian Dirt Devil, stirring up a filth tornado and laughing maniacally.* I’ll never be clean. NEVER!
Read more “Fantasy Creatures From Another Dimension”

Scene From Titanic Painting With A T-Rex

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Scene From Titanic Painting With A T-Rex
Remember that scene from Titanic where Jack paints rose? Well, now you can remember it in a whole new way. With a T-Rex.

Paint me like one of your French girls Jack.

Sure, why not? If you wanted some hair under your arms you should have just said so. Let’s give you a baguette under one arm too and put a mime in the background. And a glass of wine. Have I missed any French stereotypes? Hmmmm, let’s give you something to surrender to. Like a giant asteroid that will wipe out your entire species. Yes Rose, I can do that. Love you Rose. Now show me one of those dinosaur boobies.

M & M’s All Dressed Up Sculpture

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

M & M's All Dressed Up Sculpture
These m&m’s are going out on the town. They’re all dressed up with no where to go. Therefore they belong in my mouth. But sadly they would break my teeth since they are a bronze sculpture. A limited edition of 75.

They melt in your mouth, not in their suits! Limited edition? Puh-leaze! I’ve dressed up plenty of m&m’s in my day. *Points to m&m civil war diorama, where North and South(Peanut m&m’s) wage a chocolaty battle for the nation.* Shhhhh. Keep your voice down. They startle easy. They’re all shell shocked. War is hell man.

Zombie Mickey Mouse Skull

Artemis Winterford1 Comment

zombie mickey mouse skull
Whoa. Looks like Mickey found himself under an atomic bomb. This Zombie Mickey Mouse Skull looks like something the natives would shake at you upon entering Disneyland after the apocalypse. Which would fittingly be referred to as the crappiest place on Earth.

Mickey Mouse? More like Icky Mouse! Or moldy mouse. Here I come to save the dayyyyyy! Wait, wrong mouse. He even has fangs now. Maybe this is what happens when Disney puts all of it’s money into Star Wars.

Star Wars: The Virus Awakens – Ebola Fett

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Star Wars The Virus Awakens - Ebola Fett
Damn son. Star Wars has gone viral! Like full Ebola. He doesn’t collect bounties. He infects them. This Ebola Fett figure comes with Glow in the Dark action! Limited infection of only 25 pieces.

Ebola Fett
Ridin’ dirty in a Vette.

Laboratory Playa,
Infecting Slave Leia.

Forming a contagion
of lyrical Invasion.

Fell into a pit
made the mighty Sarlacc Spit.

Yeah! The star wars vehicles these guys ride is your immune system.