This tea pot has a mouth. I mean it isn’t going to curse at you or anything. It just has a full, luscious and inviting mouth. The matching sugar and creamer also each have mouths. You can make them kiss.
Is it yawning? Singing? I have no idea. If you want some tea, it will be more than happy to regurgitate some for you without leaving too much backwash in your cup. Whatever else you do with it is your business.
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Do you say duct tape or duck tape? It’s clearly duck tape. Strong enough for a duck, but made for a duct. Doesn’t matter. This artist doesn’t give a cluck what you think. The Duck Tape Still Life Painting is a classy piece of art for your wall.
Or you could just duct tape a purdue chicken to your wall. Now that’s some interactive art. Between the flies and the decomposing, you are going to have one heck of an art show, not to mention a health hazard, for many months to come.
If you don’t like these Ghostbuster’s Gourd Sculptures from Etsy seller Wigoutgraphics, you must be out of your gourd! I’ve been slimed. (Funny Behind the scenes fact: I accidentally wrote, “I’ve been slimmed”, but nope, still have my gut and the doughy body of a nerd God)
The Slimer gourd shows Slimer on the front and in back you can see his brain and ghostly arteries and stuff. If he had such things. The Ungrateful Yuppie Larvae(Not actually me, despite my dad referring to me as such. That’s what the piece is called.) are doing their larvae thing like it’s a womb. Get a womb you two!
If there’s something strange in the neighborhood. Who ya gonna call. Gourd Busters!
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You may be two centuries too late for this 19th Century Traveling Vampire Killing Kit, but don’t let that stop you. My motto is, “You see a vampire, you kill it!” That’s also my motto for cockroaches and spiders. This kit has everything you need to kill vampires dead. Plus it looks all old timey and awesome.
Reminds me of an old joke I heard once:
There once was a vampire named Mabel, whose period was notoriously stable. One night in June, she sat with a spoon and drank herself under the table.
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Grammar Nazis hate me, because I ain’t speak proper engrish. This Ghoulish Book of Grammar might help. It basically teaches adult weirdos about the ABCs using horror characters and nightmarish images. It will scare you into proper grammar. Won’t work on me though. I learned my grammar in the slammer son. Thug life.
I was in for like 24 hours in the drunk tank. Sounds fun, I know, but despite the name, it really is NOT a tank of alcohol you get to swim around in. It’s more like a tank of vomit and urine. And some crazy-eyed dude named Pedro who tells you you are pretty as he sniffs your hair.
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