Main Drain Turns Your Toilet Into A Urinal

main drain urinal
The Main Drain is for people like me who come home drunk and pee against the wall thinking they’re still at the bar and hosing down a urinal. Clean up is a real pain and slipping on pee can lead to serious injuries. The solution is not to stop drinking, but to turn your toilet into a urinal.

That’s what the Main Drain is all about. Just put your main vein in front of the Main Drain and drunken peeing will no longer be a pain. It attaches to the side of your toilet. One question. If I’m too drunk to hit what I’m aiming at already, what makes you think I won’t drop a deuce in this thing, thinking I’m using a fancy space toilet? Does it have a warranty is what I’m asking.
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Shotgun Toilet Plunger

shotgun toilet plunger
Do you have a clogged up colon? Has this led to the plumbing in your home also having a clogged colon? First, try more fiber, then get this Shotgun Toilet Plunger. It will make short work of clogged toilets.

Plunging the clogged feces from your toilet has never been more fun. Plunge it down and pull the trigger like you’re a redneck hunting gophers. That’s how a real man clears some pipes.

BOOOOOOOOM. Toilet shatters. Poop fountain sprays everywhere. Okay, who replaced my plunger with a real shotgun? Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. But this is the third time and the landlord is getting pissed guys. Come on!

Zombie Toilet Brush and Zombie Head Holder Set

zombie head toilet brush holder
This Zombie Toilet Brush and Zombie Head Holder Set is just what you need to keep a clean toilet during the zombie apocalypse. And you have a lot to keep clean ever since you made the local gas station restroom your HQ.

You’ll be sitting and squeezing in the last stall on the right, cramping up something fierce as you try to unload your cargo after 4 burritos and a Mountain Dew. And those zombies pushing at the barred door aren’t making it any easier to unleash your crap kraken. But rest easy knowing that as soon as you drop that load of diarrhea like a mud meteor, you can walk over to that door nice and calm, open it and shoot some corpses dead again until all is quiet. Then you can clean up the mess you made all over that stall and seeping into the next, with this toilet brush set and vow to eat better.

Sadly, you won’t be wiping between your mud-flaps since the nearest toilet paper is 2 towns away. But at least your restroom HQ is a little cleaner.
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Alien Abduction Soap Dispenser

ufo soapFinally there is a soap dispenser that will wash away the stink of alien abduction. Because the way things are right now you can scrub and scrub and never feel clean. This soap dispenser was designed by Duncan Shotton. This UFO soap dispenser displays an alien abduction as it is happening. One version has the aliens stealing a human, the other a cow.

No matter which version you choose, your hands will be nice and clean even if you want to scream on the inside and remove your alien implant with a steak knife.
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Bathroom Guest Book: Sorry About The Smell

bathroom guest bookMake your bathroom all fancy by offering your guests this Bathroom Guestbook. It builds lasting memories of those who came and left something of themselves behind. It also helps you keep track of who has been in your poop-room. Let your guests express themselves on the throne.

Sorry about the dark cloud and subsequent brown film that has settled on the walls. Couldn’t find a match. Signed, I.P. Freely (The poop is what takes awhile).
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