Tag: bizarre

Puking Dog Toothpaste Dispenser

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dog puke toothpaste
Dog puke. What can you do? At least they don’t sit there and retch all day like cats. They get it over with quick cause they have stuff to do. Thanks to this puking dog toothpaste cap, you can combine all the awesomeness of a puking dog with brushing your teeth. And your mouth won’t even smell like dog puke afterward.

He is an amazing dog that pukes sparkly and white magic all over your toothbrush. Ha! Harry Potter had a lame owl, but I got this. Suck it Harry Potter! My magic is better then yours. What? Sure I’ll have a jelly bean. Ew, that’s nasty! That was booger flavored. I hate you Harry! I hate you! *breaks down and cries like a baby* Have to go. It’s nappy time and I’m grumpy.

Watch Your Back: Gold Googly Eye Bomber Jacket

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google eye jacket
Great Googly Moogly! Watch your back when wearing this Gold Googly Eye Bomber Jacket. I guess it already is being watched. It’s all business in front, making you look all gold and sexy. But in back, the eyes are following you. And creeping out everyone behind you. If you have any stalkers, this should be enough to get rid of them.

Don’t worry about strangers eyeing you up. Your jacket is already doing that. It’s like a field of Googly eyed stars all free-floating in space. All looking down at your badonkadonk.
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Taxidermy: Coyote Becomes Poodle Disco Queen

Artemis Winterford2 Comments

80s coyote
Etsy seller SaySwear’s neighbor made this hot little number. The neighbor came upon a coyote recently hit by a motorist and dead on the side of the road. She did what anyone would do. No, I don’t mean that she poked it with a stick and puked by the side of the road while doubled over. That’s what I would have done. No, she loaded it up and took it to a local taxidermist. Then SaySwear gave “Helen” a Disco makeover.

Funny when you consider that this Coyote’s favorite disco song was “I Will Survive”. At first I was afraid, I was petrified… “Staying Alive” was NOT her song.
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Tighty Whitey Bag

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tighty whiteys bag
Make a fashion statement wherever you go with this stylish and somewhat off-white Tighty Whitey Bag. Don’t leave it unattended though. You may come back to find a man standing inside of it. Bonus: The interior lining is all blue flames like when you light your farts.

I would hate to be the thief that tries to steal this thing. First off, as you are struggling with your victim, you notice that this purse is actually a pair of dirty undies, but what’s worse is when she starts hitting you in the face with it and your nose tells you that it was probably worn at one time. For like 2 months straight. And never washed.
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You Shouldn’t Putt Where You Poop: EZ Drinker Toilet Golf

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toilet golf
The EZ Drinker Toilet Golf game is all about being able to enjoy a round of golf, instead of missing out because you are on the toilet all day trying to evacuate turd citizens from the natural disaster that is your colon. EZ Drinker? What does that mean? Easy there drinker. Don’t golf where you s**t!

This potty game makes the act of pooping even more rewarding. Forget eating extra fiber. Stay awhile and enjoy the green. I had this for like a week before I missed the toilet and added a yellow lake in the green. What can I say? My aim was off. The cats have added some litter and made a little sand trap too, complete with logs. Fun game, but it’s starting to smell super nasty.