This fall. The Barnyard Boys are back! This is gonna be the heist of a lifetime. Starring Pauly the Pigeon as Peckerhead Paulsy, Charlie Chickensnitch as Cluck Norris and the Horsehead of the Apocalypse as himself. Rated R for sex and violence and drugs and animal on animal crime in the seedy underbelly of Barnyard City.
That’s the movie I would make with these sweet weird animal masks. Either that or you know, just make an ass out of myself in public, but I’ve never needed a mask for that.
Bartender! I’ll have a shot of Vodka, but only if you can serve it on top of a chicken foot with strange magical symbols on it.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get the hell away from whoever made these shot glasses out of their feet. That’s why. Seems pretty obvious to me now.
Here are a set of 6 bird footed shot glasses. I wouldn’t recommend tracing those symbols with your finger. They seem all magical and dangerous. They come from Russia with love.
In mother Russia, you are not truly drunk until table filled with feet of bird!
Damn, that’s nasty. Do you want chicken face? Well, you can have chicken face. With this freaky chicken skin mask, you can freak everyone the hell out! Especially chickens. I’m way behind on my TV viewing. Is this from the latest American Horror Story? Cause that one involves a chicken masked serial killer this year right? I’ll check on that.
Anyway, this nightmare inducing mask is made of actual chicken skin and will fit “a small framed woman’s face”. Sorry large guys, you’ll have to find your serial killer creeper mask elsewhere. Damn, that’s nasty. Plus, you wasted the tastiest part of fried chicken.
Read more “What The Cluck?: Mask Made Of Chicken Skin”
The Ebay seller who unleashed this strange demon calls it a “Woodland Princess Creature.” I just see a half plucked chicken with a tiara and an old man lion face. Dude essentially just took a butterball and put some jewelry on it. It’s only $23. This thing might come in handy as bait to catch other chickens. Chickens with very bad eyesight. Damn that thing is pluckin’ ugly!
Read more “And Now, A Chicken With A Lion Head, Crowned With A Tiara”
Which came first, the chicken or the legs? Wait, what? What the hell am I looking at, a Pokemon? I’m pretty sure Chickapede evolves into Chickasnake. Whatevs. It all evolves into Chicken Nuggets in the end. This piece of mutant chicken taxidermy comes from Etsy seller Casperscreatures who doesn’t know when to leave nature alone.
Seriously, stop creating nightmares. And DO NOT let electricity hit this thing. House centipedes are bad enough. I don’t need Chickapedes running around in the world. I’m gonna need a bigger shoe!
Read more “Chickapede: Ten Legged Centipede Chicken”