Enjoy The Probing Alien Coffee Mug

Enjoy The Probing Alien Coffee Mug
*Looks at the Enjoy The Probing Alien Coffee Mug. Shrugs.* Okay, fine. I will. I’ll try to enjoy it. Actually, it’s pretty uncomfortable. I’ll enjoy the mug for sure. The coffee will be enjoyable. No guarantees about the probing.

Hey, if you had any idea how much it hurts, you would know that it’s gonna take a lot more than a funny mug to cheer me up after. You try letting a spaceman ram his rocket into a crater on Uranus and see how you feel. Maybe YOU should enjoy the probing. How about this? If you enjoy it, I’ll enjoy it. Deal? K. No take backs.

Scary Skull Cup With Bone Jointed Handle

Scary Skull Cup With Bone Jointed Handle
I can’t wait to have a beer in this Scary Skull Cup With Bone Jointed Handle. The bone handle is jointed… For your pleasure. I don’t even know what that means. I’m operating on the left side of a Twix bar and two red bulls. What happened to the right side of the Twix bar? Both sides are right. And if one side is wrong I don’t wanna be right. Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, this cool skull cup is my new drinking vessel of choice. BRING ME A SKULL FULL OF insert name of some kind of tough liquor that I should be manly enough to drink, but will make me cough and gag.

C’mon, let’s get drunk and slam our skulls together. THUNK! Ow!!!! I meant skull cups. Not my brain casing you stupid- What was I saying? WHO ATE MY LEFT TWIX? I only have the one. Or did I lose the left and I have the right? Why do they give you two? One would be much better for my OCD. I can’t eat it now, even if I could find it. See what you did! Wait. What are the signs of concussion? And where am I?

Meditating Skeletons And Skull Mugs

Meditating Skeletons And Skull Mugs
How often does a skeleton meditate? Oh, every now and zen. Haha, I crack me up. Check out these cool Meditating Skeletons And Other Skull Mugs from Etsy seller NicolePangasCeramics. That skeleton has attained enlightenment. Too bad he didn’t attain some meat on his bones. I don’t know anything about Buddhism or Hinduism, but I… Like big Buddhas and I can not lie…

Seriously, these mugs are pretty cool. They have all kinds of cool creepy looking drinkware. How do you get into a meditative state? Simple. Just relax your mind, empty your thoughts and cross the border. Whoa that’s deep. Deepak Chopra…
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Cthulhu Coffee Mugs

etsy cthulhu coffee tea mug
The best part of waking up is Cthulhu in your cup. It’s true. With every sip he tickles my nose and my tastebuds with his coffee soaked tentacles. These Cthulhu Coffee Mugs are spec-tentacle-tacular. I’m not even awake until I’ve had my Cthulhu brew in the morning.

When I down that drink, I look to the bottom of the mug and we lock eyes. He winks. I wink. Then I slam the cup down in satisfaction and break it into a million shards. He finds a new mug for a home and we do the whole thing over again the next day.
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Brain Coffee Mug

brain mug
My brain isn’t awake until it has had at least one cup of coffee. This Brain Coffee Mug is exactly what I need to stare at while my own brain is getting kickstarted. I won’t have any idea what the hell any of this fancy medical stuff means, so I’ll just feel dumb.

This mug will remind me that I am just a sack of meat with a lump of cauliflower between my ears telling me not to eat so much junk food. Screw you brain, what do you know? *Everything* Well, yeah. Technically you know everything, but can you can’t do squat without my motor control. So there.

*Half hour later*

Stupid brain. I can’t believe I let you take control of my body and made me make a healthy salad. Now it’s on! Now do you see why I pig out? Just for that I am going on an all night pastry binge! And stop making me talk all awkward to the girls I meet, or I swear I’ll fill ya so full of Jack Daniels you’ll think you are in a specimen jar. Stupid brain. Drinking is the only time I get any peace.