Tag: cool

Pumice Stone Skull Candle Holder

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Pumice Stone Skull Candle Holder
This Pumice Stone Skull Candle Holder is awesome. Looks like an old grey castle where a witch lives. I bet my wife is moving in there. It looks pretty cool all lit up. Like it would talk to you in a booming voice that only you can hear.

WHO DARES AWAKE THE MIGHTY SKULL OF DOOM?

Uh…Me? I guess me, yeah.

OH! WELL COME BACK IN AN HOUR, I”M BEAT!

Stoned more like. Get it? Cuz you’re made of pumice?

YOU HAVE DISPLEASED ME MORTAL! RETURN UPON ONE HOUR AND I SHALL SMITE THEE WITH MY ANCIENT POWER!

*Waits for it to fall asleep again then smashes it to pieces with a hammer.*

This is why I can’t have friends. *Sigh*

*Sweeps the ancient evil up in a dustpan and dumps it into the trash.*

Friday The 13th Jason Custom Converse All Stars

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Friday The 13th Jason Custom Converse All Stars
Yo, guy in hockey mask. If you are gonna wear the mask, you might as well have shoes to match. And these Friday The 13th Jason Custom Converse All Stars make a killer statement. They say, ” I kill people, but I still care about fashion and style. I’m deranged, but I’m also hip. I’m unhinged, but I care about my appearance.” So get these shoes you machete wielding freak!

Skull Bedding: Sleep Like The Dead

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Skull Bedding Sleep Like The Dead
Check out this cool Skull Bedding. It’s perfect for that big sleep. For sleeping like the dead. For taking a dirt nap. Nah. You’ll be very alive and oh so comfy in this bedding. It has a beautiful design that features a skull and flowers. You put this on your bed and you have a Skully Posturepedic bed. Get it? Put your bones in this bone bedding and you can even bone in it. I’m sorry, that was crude. I should have said shag. No, that’s carpeting. Now I confused myself. F***ing, that’s what I meant!

I have an urge to mess the bed. That didn’t sound right. I mean mess up that pretty bed, by making a blanket fort and calling it Castle Greyskull. It’s gonna be awesome. It already has the cool skull.

Coffin Instrument Cases

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Coffin Instrument Cases
These Coffin Instrument Cases are perfect if your band’s name is the Grateful Dead, or The Dead Kennedys, or… I can’t think of anymore. Must be the ADD I’ve heard so much about. And then promptly forgot. Where was I? Ohhhh there’s an orb in that image. Well, now we know there’s a ghost attached to this instrument case. Cuz everyone knows that floating dust particles are ghosts.

Maybe it’s Roy Orbison! Or ELO. You know, Electric Light Orb-chestra! I crack my self up like Humpty Dumpty falling off a wall. I’m a bad egg.
Read more “Coffin Instrument Cases”

Adjustable Snake Eye Ring

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Adjustable Snake Eye Ring
This ring is coming up snake eyes! This Adjustable Snake Eye Ring puts a pair of snake eyes on your finger. Along with it’s icky yucky snake skin. I love this ring. Whenever anyone displeases me I’m gonna raise my ring and shout, “The eyes of the snake are upon you. Back off lest ye be judged by the serpent god!” I have no idea what that means, but it sounds cool as hell and scary. And when they look into those snake eyes, they will feel the wrath of the serpent.

Speaking of which, I’m feeling the wrath of the serpent right now. Me go pee pee. Bye bye.