Is there anything more appetizing than a slimy Facehugger attaching itself to your face and giving you a big hug? Of course not. That’s why you need this Facehugger Appetizer 3-Piece Set. Your hors d’oeuvres will taste so much better when dangling under an alien killer.
Okay, how many of you said “whores de-vores” in your head and giggled? Me too. Now let’s serve up some tiny weenies and cheese cubes cuz food is the best facehugger ever.
Winter Bats wear winter hats and like to terrorize winter cats. I think I heard that somewhere. Anyway, it’s time to prepare for winter. Do you have your winter boots? Winter hat? Winter Bat? I guess you’re all set. Unlike me who always waits until December to get my winter bats and then they are always sold out. I feel like a real idiot too, walking in the snow while everyone else’s winter bats hold up their scarfs by the ends like birds flapping around Cinderella. Me? My scarf just hangs there. *Sad face.*
Why the sad face? You could order one right now.
Hmmmm… Nah. I got time.
What’s up formaldehyde face? It looks like your head fell in the cheese dip back in 1957. You. You’re okay. This one? Real f**kin ugly. I’m not saying that nothing would happen after a couple of drinks, though.
This They Live mask makes you look like one of those aliens that secretly controls the world. I’m surprised I can see it for what it is. I’ve spent like 4 years checking out every pair of sunglasses in every store and I haven’t found the magic pair yet, that will let me see our true masters.
There’s a monster in my wall. No, seriously. You should see my electricity bill. This Monster Sconce looks like he’s bursting through your wall and he’s brought his own light sources, which I would replace with beer cans. Hey monster, beer me. Thanks! *Grabs it from his hand.*
Click through for an awesome shot of this monster looking totally psyched over a can of Campbell’s soup. He friggin’ loves that stuff. He’s all like F Yeah! Gonna get all souped-up like an old time hot rod.
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These Crazy Creature Bangles from VoodooDelicious range from cute to creepy. They come in monster, demon and tentacle varieties. I don’t know about you, but I’m always looking down at my wrist and wondering what it would be like to have a monster living on it. Sometimes in my mind, I’m wearing a monster on each wrist and I make them fight by banging them together and making grunting noises.
That’s usually when nice old ladies approach and tell me what a sweet boy I am and ask if I got separated from my mommy. And then mall security arrives and I get carted off to an all-expenses paid trip to the funny place with the medicine. It’s called imagination people. I was too busy fighting monsters to fight them. Which is exactly how they get ya.
Read more “Crazy Creature Bangles”