Tag: dark

Dark Cameo Skeleton Necklaces

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Dark Cameo Skeleton Necklaces
These Dark Cameo Skeleton Necklaces are pretty scary. You can choose from the three shown in the image or you can get them all cuz they tell an awesome story from left to right. That story is as follows: Once upon a time there was a dead girl with long hair. Then she put her hair up. Then got bitten by some nasty teeth. The end.

I like long haired girl the best and that’s not just because I skipped to the end and read the last page. I just like my skeletons with long hair that’s all. Nothing wrong with that. Even if I bring my own wig. Perfectly acceptable. No big deal.

Body Wrapped In Bag Christmas Ornament

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Body Wrapped In Bag Christmas Ornament
Wow. That’ll get Santa’s attention and make him soil his jolly old pants. This Body Wrapped In Bag Christmas Ornament is sure to make the big guy recheck his nice and naughty list. He may even start a new list and call it “Serial Killer. Do not visit next year. Call the police!” If you are looking to decorate a darker tree this year, this ornament is perfect. Hey, at least it isn’t floating down a river somewhere.

Yeah this will compliment all of those newspaper clippings you have on your wall, with the scribbled red writing and Xs over people’s faces. Damn son, your stockings are hung on the chimney with terror!

Hangman Tie: Tighten The Noose

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Hangman Tie Tighten The Noose
Do you have to wear a noose to work everyday? I feel for you man. Me too. It’s a real noose-ance. Nothing to get all knotted up about. Check out the Hangman Tie. Now that’s a noose.

We all know that having to wear ties is nothing but “the man” keeping us down. By “the man” I mean the hangman obviously. Working for the man ain’t nothing but a slow climb up the gallows with only a quick drop to look forward to. Damn, I said something profound. Now I have to go look up “profound”. Also, sorry about the gallows humor. Damn, I said something “profound” again. BRB while I go look it up.

Update: Sorry it took so long. I forgot how to spell it, then got distracted by the TV. Then again by the computer. I still don’t know what it means, but here’s my definition: I’m friggin awesome!

Creepy Kitchen Towel Set

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Creepy Kitchen Towel Set
Man, this is a dark Creepy Kitchen Towel Set. I don’t own any towels cuz I mostly use my shirt for a towel, but if I owned these, I would wait until a guest used them and say stuff like, “Leave and never darken my towels again.” Or “So you throw in the towel eh? I win again! Best of three?” Towels are fun. They’re towel-toly awesome! Don’t towel anyone I said so.

You get a heart, a skull and a raven. Wait that’s a crow. I think I just ate crow.
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Necronomicon Leather Book Purse

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Necronomicon Leather Book Purse
Remember kids, reading is fundamental. But reading the Necronomicon is just plain mental. This Necronomicon Leather Book Purse is a good way to get yourself in trouble. Maybe it makes the whole world zombies. Maybe it opens a portal so that Cthulhu and his kind can enslave us all. Maybe it creates a world where dogs and cats get along. Whatever happens, nothing good is gonna come out of this book/purse.

Ohhhhh, except for that lipstick. That shade is to die for. Where’d you get it? I wish I could wear that, my complexion is just too pale. You go girl!
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