Tag: etsy

Crazy Scary Horror Dioramas

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horror dioramas
It’s time to talk about terror on a tiny scale. *You mean your peen?* Very funny, but no. Why can’t you be like all of the ladies and just leave him alone? No, I’m talking about small scale dioramas with weird-ass stuff going on in them.

Etsy seller OminousPossessions creates all kinds of dark and disturbing mini dioramas. Stuff like Freakshows, Freddy Kreuger vs Jason Voorhees, killer clowns with blood everywhere. Dude’s got a deranged mind, but at least he’s working through it by painting miniatures.

I work through my issues with small art all the time myself. Small Art is my “little person” therapist. I spend half of my sessions just trying to work through my fear of little people. The other half trying to get the guy to stop crying like a baby. He’s a little sensitive. What? You are a little person AND a therapist. You never thought this would come up? I got issues!
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Leaping Lizards: Handmade Costumes For Bearded Dragons

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lizard costumes
Etsy seller PamperedBeardies makes all kinds Handmade clothes for lizards, because you don’t want lizards just waving their junk all over the place. Hey, I have a beard! Nobody ever pampers me. Well, except for that one night in the hotel with the midget, but that was a box of Huggies, not Pampers. And as far as I know I got rid of all of the evidence afterwards, except for the talcum powder smell.

Get your lizard an awesome shark costume, Princess Leia, a Mexican Fiesta costume, the Easter Bunny and more. What, no tuxedo? No business suit? What if my lizard wants a career?
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Terrifying Hand-Knitted Clown Balaclava

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knitted clown mask
This Terrifying Clown Balaclava is some pretty intense knitting. Yo, quit clowning around and take that thing off. I don’t like the way you’re staring at me. Well, say something! Don’t just stand there staring at me and looking all menacing and stuff. I was having a nice relaxing, clown-free day until all this. Uh. What’s with that knife? I’m assuming you are just playing some real life Fruit Ninja, but since I don’t see any other fruit, this lemon is out of here. If you prefer to put on your clown face by using good old fashioned makeup rather than donning a Clown Balaclava, check out this cool Killer Clown Makeup Brush Holder. Because you shouldn’t clown around with your clown face. You have to take that seriously if you’re in the clown game. Your face is your money shot. wait- I mean… Nevermind.

Click through for a bonus pic in which Stephen King endorses this mask. And finds Waldo! A very cute Waldo. I think she is the knitter. Also, I just learned that knitting is not the act of removing nits from some dirty kid’s hair. Or at least it’s not only that. Who knew? You learn something new every day.
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Drunk Dressing: Beer Bottle Cap Dress

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bottlecap dress
Hey baby! You look great in that Bottle Cap Dress. You must have drank a ton of Bud Light and Coors and been tipsy on that sewing machine. So glad we met through that beercrafting dating service. You like my cowboy hat? Nah, we don’t stand out. Do you think we stand out?

I am totally getting some tonight. You know how I know? Psst! *Whispers* I brought a bottle opener.

This beer bottle cap dress is like a suit of drunken armor that you can wear to your next crazy party.

Crazy Demonic Succubus Barbie Doll Made With Cat Bones

Artemis Winterford2 Comments

succubus demon barbie
I always knew that Barbie was a demon spawn from hell, bent on ruining the lives and the credit scores of those she touches with her fiery demon heart. Sorry, was talking about my ex Barbie, who is also a succubus. No, this doll actually looks much friendlier.

According to the seller this Barbie is named “Lacertia and she comes from the planet Nocturnia, a magnetic colossal asteroid. When she isn’t shopping, she is destroying other worlds with a smile on her face!”

See, now I’m confused, because it sounds like the demon I knew.

This doll was modified using Bobcat bones, with cat bones in her wings and scythe. It’s like the Grim Reaper is a little girl and this is the toy that daddy Reaper conjured up for her. This doll probably lives in the Malibu Nightmare house and sleeps in a cocoon of Ken’s skin.
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