Tag: figure

Custom Zombie Cat Figurines

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Custom Zombie Cat Figurines
Wanna turn your fluffy Miss Mittens into a crazy deadly zombie? Well, now you can. These Custom Zombie Cat Figurines will take your fluffy little fuzz-nugget and turn them into rotting undead pus-nuggets. They will make your cat look like he or she just crawled out of the grave and are ready to eat you. Yeah, they don’t look friendly at all. Like they just came back from Stephen King’s pet sematary. Yeah, count me out of that petting session.

Sure, you’re happy to see Mr. Nibbles-worth again. How’ve ya been? I’m so happy you’re back. I missed my sweet wittle puss-puss. So you grab for a can of tuna, but he grabs for your throat. You’re dying on the floor, he’s nipping at your intestines. It’s bad. Bad scene man. That’s why when I bury a pet, I fill that hole up with concrete. If I ever see a block of concrete with a tail slowly lumbering my way, I have time to get the shotgun.
Custom Zombie Cat Figurines

Buddha Cthulhu

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Buddha Cthulhu
Meditate on this! Buddha Cthulhu offers not enlightenment, but insanity. Buddha Cthulhu just laughs at you. Telepathically. You are beneath him. He cares not for your Earthly vessel and your Earthly problems. He just wants to sit and chill. So why are you bothering him. F**k off! Give BC some space and get out of his tentacled face. What does an ancient evil have to do to get some peace and quiet?

Put this guy on your desk and bask in his awesomeness.
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Milton Moondust Is A Real Lunar-Tic

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Milton Moondust Is A Real Lunar-Tic
Meet Milton Moondust. His head is made of cheese. Sometimes people land on it. This makes him sad. It also makes him sad that I just pointed and laughed and called him “Crater-face”. He probably has alien bases on the dark side of his head. NASA has pictures, but they’re covering it up. I guess aliens on his head would be considered moon-cooties. Poor Milton.

Ghostbusters Terror Dog

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Ghostbusters Terror Dog
Who ya gonna call? Well, to be honest, I thought I might order a pizza, maybe call for some Chinese. Then call 911 for my food poisoning. So my phone is gonna be tied up. Who should I be calling? Ghostbusters? If I ever see a Terror Dog like this, I’ll text them. Same if I see that green booger Slimer!

I’VE BEEN SLIMMED!

What, like some ectoplasm dropped from the ceiling and you had instant weight loss?

WTF? SLIMMED MAN. SLIMMED.

Can you send us a pic. We don’t wanna come out if there’s no paranormal activity.

HANG ON. *Sends selfie!*

Hmmmm. No way you got slimmed. I’d say you weigh 350 easy.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN? I- OH. LIMED. I MEANT LIMED!

I didn’t see any citrus in that pic.

SLIMED! MY S WAS NOT WORKING! YOU COMING OR WHAT?

Nah! We’re good.
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Jason Voorhees Plush Chi Chi Chi Ha Ha Ha

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Jason Voorhees Plush Chi Chi Chi Ha Ha Ha
Cuddle up with this Jason Voorhees plush if you want, but don’t take your eyes off of him. He’s kind of adorable. For a serial killer. Those people deserved it anyway. If only he could kill bad actors in OTHER movies! Hopefully he won’t go crazy on Friday the 13th and kill everyone you love.

Maybe you can watch the movies together and get him to give you some commentary. Hey, I don’t care what you two do. I don’t judge. Unlike some people who judge others by going around and slashing them to death. If you do buy this, get him a little plush therapist for God’s sake.