Oktoberfest Skeleton Gnomes

Oktoberfest Skeleton Gnomes
Make everyday Oktoberfest with these Oktoberfest Skeleton Gnomes in your garden. No one knows how to party like Oktoberfest Skeleton Gnomes. This pair may look cool and decomposed, but they turn it up to 11.

They raise their frothy mugs year round and look like they are about to fling some choice curse words at your neighbors. With these guys the party may be dead, but it goes on forever.

Predator Crochet Mask

predator crochet mask
Quick. Get to da chopper! No you idiot, not the motorcycle with da long front wheel, de heli-chopper! *Predator stabs me through the back and rips out my spine.* Thanks for clarifying Arnold. Next time be more specific. I mean chopper could also mean blender for Christ’s sake. You want me to run toward a blender? Thanks for ending my life with your less than clear advice! *Dies*

This Predator Crochet Mask is scary and crafty as hell. Experience the softer side of Predator. And if you are in the jungle and running from Predator, be very clear about what you are shouting. Lookin’ at you Arnold.
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Mr. And Mrs. Potato Head Planters

mr potato head succulent planter
Are you psyched? Good and starched? I present to you these Mr. And Mrs. Potato Head Planters all dressed up like a King and a Princess. With plants coming out of their heads. I know the king personally, were best spuds.

Wait, is it potato or potatoe? Doesn’t matter cuz it’s all chips to me. I’m gonna go mix up their face parts so the kingdom falls apart. Then guess who’s king baby! Oh yeah!
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The Great Garden Gnome Massacre

T Rex Garden Gnome Massacre
Make your garden a living hell for all gnome-kind. The Great Garden Gnome Massacre begins with Gnomezilla in your yard. No elf or gnome is safe. Gnomezilla is hungry for blood, so let him feast on your tacky garden ornaments. Satiate his hunger and he will look out for your garden.

*Neighbor comes outside. Hands on hips. Rolling her head with every word.* Oh Gnome you dit’int. You did not just call my garden ornaments tacky. Oh it’s on now!

I just put Gnomezilla in her garden. Wait until she sees all of the carnage. Yes. It is on. *Steeples fingers and laughs maniacally.*
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Take Out Tentacle Scarf

chinese takeout food tentacle scarf
Orders Chinese. Waits for like a half an hour. Guy arrives. I tip him a buck forty and a lemon starburst. Then I go inside and unpack my order. It’s all piping hot. I open up the center container and retrieve my warm and toasty Take Out Tentacle Scarf. Wrapping it around my neck, I smile. I can now go out in the cold.

As I step toward the door, it hits me. It’s friggin June! What the hell. It’s like sub-zero here with the AC at full blast. Well, I guess I’m wearing my Take Out Scarf In today. Hope I fare better than that strangled mannequin below.
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