Tag: fun

Willy Care Kit: Don’t Leave Home Without It

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Willy Care Kit
Man, I gotta start dating. Problem is when I signed up for match.com, my membership screen said “We have found a match for you: MY ASS YOUR FACE”. Nice. Thanks for nothing. I have feelings too you know. Except in my buttcheeks. They’re all tingly and numb from sitting here all day bringing you awesome and weird stuff. Go me.

This Willy Care Kit might help me to up my dating game. You gotta keep tidy and neat after all and us guys are dating for two. *Looks down* You and I both have to shape up. Then once we get a woman we can let ourselves go again. Deal?

This kit comes with a fluffing brush, styling sheers, a sprucing mirror and even some evening wear for the little guy in the form of a little necklace.

Pac-Man Party Bra And Tutu

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Pac-Man Party Bra
It’s always a party with the Pac-Man Party Bra And Tutu. A pizza bra will get the party started, but a bra featuring the yellow dot muncher himself? That keeps the party going all night long. Assuming that your nipples are power pellets anyway. If you feel that your nipples have what it takes to power this little yellow freak and let him chase ghosts around your boobs all night, order yours today.

Pac-Man fever makes you hot(Also drives you crazy). So if you are afflicted with this retro 80s ailment, this is the perfect outfit. It’s sure to diffuse the heat, while looking awesome. Don’t wear a Space Invaders bra or an Asteroid bra, unless you want guys hitting on you all night. By “hitting on”, I mean that I’ll be in the corner making pew pew pew noises, pointing my finger gun at your chest, trying to get the high score.
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Checkers Board Game Dress

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checkers dress costume
This Checkers Dress is pretty awesome. I’m a wiz at checkers. Jump, jump, jump, jump, king me baby! How about we play Connect Four instead? Do you have that dress? No? The problem with a Connect Four dress is that all of the pieces usually fall out of the bottom while you’re out doing your stuff.

The problem with this dress? I see no problems. If I win you take the dress off. If you win, I take my dress off. Cool?

Pro tip: If you have this dress, don’t get rid of it, otherwise you’ll have a checkered past.

I won! Where? There, diagonally! Very sneaky sis!

Dragon Lawn Flamingos

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dragon flamingo
Lawn flamingos are soooo 1950s trailer park. These days it’s all about dragons. Because dragons are awesome and breath fire and fly through the sky like they own that shizz. Cuz they do. I’ve seen the deed. You don’t mess with dragons. That’s why you should decorate your yard with these Dragon Lawn Flamingos from Etsy seller CedarMoon.

I just ordered like 5. I’m using them as bait. I’m hoping it will attract that chick from Game of Thrones. She’ll see them in my yard and be all like, “OMG dragons. Can I be your Queen?” I’ll be all like, “Yeah, but I only have one throne and that ain’t no game on Taco night. Cool?”
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Mirrorman Suits

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mirrorman suit
Behold the mighty Mirrorman! His super power? Reflecting every got-damnned thing with his suit. He is the ultimate “I’m rubber, you’re glue. Whatever you throw bounces off me and sticks to you!” superhero. Light. Check. Images. Check. Hammer. Oh man, sorry about that dude. How many tiny mirrors you got on that suit? About 1000? What’s a 1000 times 7? Oh poopy! That is A LOT of bad luck!

That suit is like a black hole of bad luck just waiting to happen. Of course it was me. Why in the HELL would you walk around with that thing? That is irresponsible on like a cosmic level! You can’t just give out that kind of atomic bomb luck!

Oh hell! Just stepped on a nail. Whew! That was close. Shoe stopped it. Anyway- *Gets hit by a football, which bounces onto a nearby car going 80. Car swerves. Hits me into Mirrorman, who cuts me like a million times and gives even more bad luck. Plus, I gotta pay for that suit now!* WTF?

Check out another suit below. Screw this guy!
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