These Anatomy Pint Glasses make it easy for the beer to hit your skull, brain, heart, and ribs real quick. *Slams fist down* Bartender, give me a beer right in my brain! *BAM!* Hitting me in the head with the bottle is not what I meant. I meant, put it in my brain glass. Let’s try this again. I’ll take a white russian in my ribs. *Bartender whistles and a burly Ruskie comes out from the backroom. Punches me in the ribs* Seriously, you just keep that guy back there for times like this? Fine, fine. I’ll take whatever you want in one of your glasses. Oh that’s cute. You gave me the glass with the spider in it that you trapped five minutes ago. Great. Damn, I hurt! Is there a hospital around here?
Tag: halloween
Skull Couch Feet
These Skull Couch Feet are like creepy sneakers for your couch. Cuz your couch’s feet get cold people. Give it some scary Nikes. People be like, Damn! Your couch come wit that?” And you’ll be all like, “Sweet ain’t it?” Your couch be all like, “I look good son! Now get me some badass armrests and a tattoo before I swallow one of you fat-asses whole!”
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Alien Xenomorph and Egg Chokers
OpheliasChest makes some pretty terrifying jewelry. I for one, have never seen OpheliasChest, cuz I look her in the eye. I’m a gentleman. I also still have two black eyes from the last time I got caught looking at some boobage. Is it a little nippy in here or is it just me? Anywho, check out these Alien Xenomorph and Egg Chokers. They also have matching bracelets. These accessories are horrifying, yet awesome. I hope those eggs don’t hatch a facehugger, cuz that’s an accessory you don’t want any part of. No one wants their face hugged off. You hear my Aunt Sue? And your kisses are all slobbery and gross.
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Leather Skull Clutch Purse
This Leather Skull Clutch Purse will be your new best friend. Call him Leatherface and carry him everywhere. Sing songs together. Give to me your leather, take from me…my face. It’s a purse, it’s a bag, it’s a clutch. It’s a stitched together head. You are gonna look so badass girl! He’s creepy, he’s kooky, he’s all together ooky. It’s soft enough for a woman, but hard enough to hit a man with. Take that you no good creeper. Have a face full of skull. If that isn’t enough, you probably have mace in there too. This purse is awesome!
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Spider Queen Cape
Holy venomous f**k! My spider Queen. At last I found you. Let me kneel before you and present you with your Spider Queen Cape. Remember me? I was at the ball that night and we were dancing when the clock struck midnight and you ran for your carriage, dropping your spider cape. I knew that one day I would finally find the woman who fits into it perfectly. So what do I call you? The Queen mum? Spider Queen? Mother of spiders? Her royal highness? I really dig the whole superhero spider theme. Hey, nice web-sack. You’re keeping fit I see. *Smacks the royal booty and it explodes into thousands of spiders.* I see you’ve started having children without me. Laterz. *Runs*