Hope you pick a winner. Ya booger. This Pick A Winner Booger Soap shines a bright light on that disgusting habit you have. Picking your smell-hole for slimey green nuggets. I don’t know about you, but I usually wait until late at night, then flick ’em at the wall. Which explains why I go to bed with a white wall and wake up to a speckled green one. DIY room makeover. Take that one HGTV.
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Tag: halloween
Gargoyle Hourglass
This Gargoyle Hourglass will let you know when an hour is up. Is it time yet? No. Is it time yet? No. Is it- WOULD YOU JUST LOOK AT THE HOURGLASS? Never mind, this one empties in 5 minutes. It is time. It is past time. We are late. Late for a very important date.
This thing has a cool gargoyle design and is going to look great in your home. I’ve never seen your home, but I’m just guessing, cuz this hourglass is pretty damn awesome.
Universal Monsters Retro Action Figures
These Universal Monsters Retro Action Figures are sweeet! There’s Dracula, Wolfman, Mummy, Creature, Invisible Man and that guy at the opera. Hey, remember when these movies were all in black and white? Well, that got me thinking. Dogs see in black and white.
Yeah?
Well, before color TV, we were all dogs.
Except we weren’t because real life was in color.
Are you sure? Cuz I’m pretty sure the world wasn’t in color until like the 60s. The pictures prove it. Cuz they started being color pictures when black and white was over. That’s how you know.
You’re an idiot.
Am I? Or am I the only one with my eyes wide open?
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Vampire Bat Sculptural Box
This Vampire Bat Sculptural Box will make ya squee like a little bat. But if it makes you flap your wings and fly around the room, you’ve gone too far. This bat will hold all of your little trinkets and baubles and do-dads. Not sure if it will hold your whatchamacallits. It’s bat-tastic. It’s batting a thousand. It’s bat-s**t crazy. Swing batter batter. Time to batton down the hatches. Quick, to the bat cave robin! Wait, was that the phone? Nah, you just heard my batarang! And with that, I’m off to adjust my meds.
Blood Dragon Gothic Mini Chest
I wonder what’s in that Blood Dragon Gothic Mini Chest. It’s got chains so you know there’s something dangerous and horrible lurking within. Maybe a blood dragon! Wait! What is a blood dragon? A dragon who feasts on blood? A dragon who volunteers at the blood drive. An anemic dragon? The possibilities are endless. Man, I hate mysteries! I want to open it! I must know! Okay guys, I’m going for it. One. Two. Three. Opening the lid-
Uhhhhh. Yeah, I can’t really talk about what I just saw. Words can not describe it. Think horror on the level of all three golden girls naked and engaging in group activities that are just plain wrong, when George Costanza walks in… then add a blood dragon. *shudders*