Tag: halloween

Bat Compact Mirror

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Bat Compact Mirror
This Bat Compact Mirror will make putting on your makeup even more fun. It’s just you and your bat-mirror, fixin’ up that face! Well I- No, let me get a word in- I didn’t mean your face isn’t pretty already. I’m just saying that bats are great makeup wingmen, because they actually have wings. This compact is all kinds of Victorian, steampunk, bat punk, gothic, not to mention I just ran out of adjectives.

If I were a woman, I’d be putting on makeup all day long just so I could use this cool mirror and brag how cool it is, and be snooty, and talk about how beautiful I am. Yeah, I would be a B**ch… A b**ch with an awesome accessory, that you don’t have! Am I right ladies?
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Dark Shadows Gargoyle Sculptural Lamp

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Dark Shadows Gargoyle Sculptural Lamp
Damn, this gargoyle is all like, “Waz up? I have arrived and I’m about to move my wings like a trench coat and flash you.” Enjoy the ethereal light that seems to emminate from his ghostly gargoyle crotch. This Dark Shadows Gargoyle Sculptural Lamp is half evil, half… I don’t know what. I just know I don’t want to see his demon weenie, but he seems to be threatening to show it. Is that a light in your loafers or are you just happy to see me? Both? Cool. This lamp will cast some neat light onto your wall, I just hope it doesn’t cast a shadow shaped like his demonic junk.

Gargamel the gargoyle got gassy and gargled garlic in the great gazebo with Gonzo the ghost guest. I just had to type that. No reason. Glad I got that out of my system. Now my brain will have room for other more important stuff. Despite his glowing nether regions on this lamp, it’s a pretty cool piece of interior frighting. You guy readers should get one. Because every Gar-boy needs a Gar-goyle! I totally nailed that one! Usually I just staple gun it. Or even thumb tack it.

Grim Reaper Toilet Paper Holder

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Grim Reaper Toilet Paper Holder
Where’d that Grim Reaper Toilet Paper Holder come from?

Hey Grim Reaper. What are you doing here, holding my TP for me?

Well, I was in the neighborhood and it smelled like death so…*shrugs*

I hear ya. I really gotta eat more fiber and roughage.

Where there is the smell of death, I am summoned.

Yeah, I thought I saw you for a sec when I was taking that 3 alarm dump in the woods last week. I knew I recognized those glowing red eyes. And last month when that cabbage fart nearly wrecked my jeans. I just wanna say thanks for looking out for me. Thanks for being there. You might want to clear up your schedule for Saturday night. All you can eat Mexican night. See ya then.

Evil Bunny Backpack

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Evil Bunny Backpack
This Evil Bunny Backpack is freaking me out. There’s a rabbid rabbit on my back. A horrible hare! And he’s wearing punk clothing. You’ve heard of the Easter Bunny right? Well, this guy is a feaster bunny. He’s gonna feast on your soul. Get it off my back! Get it off! Is it gone? Thank God. You watch my back, I’ll watch yours. Did you see that thing? The least it could do is wipe some of the crud off it’s mouth. Guy looks like he had an all you can eat buffet at Three Mile Island!

Gothic Graveyard Snowglobe

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Gothic Graveyard Snowglobe
Time to take a field trip kids. We’re going to a graveyard. A Gothic Graveyard Snowglobe! C’mon you didn’t think I was really gonna get up early and drive a bus full of whiny kids somewhere did ya? Hey, I bring the excitement to you. This snowglobe is the perfect spooky desk accessory. It’s a calm, spooky graveyard with a creepy gnarled tree. It looks like the whole damn town is buried in there. WTH? Must have been a natural disaster.

OR did I go on the field trip and crash that bus full of kids, and now I’m in a parallel reality? Makes you think. You see why I don’t take you guys anywhere? It’s much safer if I just show you cool stuff everyday. I think I’m buried right under the tree and you guys are fanning out from me. Feels crowded. Can my corpse get some damn elbow room for God’s sake?