Tag: halloween

Cool Vampire Bat Wall Sculptures

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Cool Vampire Bat Wall Sculptures
These Cool Vampire Bat Wall Sculptures are a creepy and cool addition to your home. They’ll drive you batty. Cuz they look like they are about to dive bomb you and get all up in your business.

You can hang them in your home or put them in your garden. Seriously, they look like they are screaming at you as they are attacking. I’ll have to rethink these, cuz I already have a wife. Why do I want two more? What am I some kind of Bat-Mormon? Everybody stop screaming at me! I rue the day I included bats in this marriage! Can’t we all just get along?

Horror Character Baby Dolls

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Horror Character Baby Dolls
DrakenSteinArt is running an orphanage for misfit monsters. Check out these Horror Character Baby Dolls. They have every baby monster and killer that you could want. Go ahead and buy one. Raise the kid. It will be smashing. Smashing your skull in while you sleep. Not that you’ll get much sleep. Monster babies will keep you up at all hours of the night. You can even get this awesome Coffin Doll carriage so you can wheel’em around the block in style.

That baby wolf man steals the show. You gotta respect any kid that has facial hair. Check out their shop. They have a ton of these little tykes.
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Jewelry With Coffin Shaped Gemstones

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Jewelry With Coffin Shaped Gemstones
Etsy seller MordauntesCoffinGems sells all kinds of Jewelry With Coffin Shaped Gemstones. They are dead pretty! So pretty that you will want to bury them in your jewelry box. Fun fact: I want to be buried while suspended within a coffin shaped piece of amber, so future generations of humans that look like aliens can dig me up and bring me back to life by using my DNA. Which also stands for Do Not Aggravate me. I hope they don’t piss me off. They’ll create a whole park where I can roam and where visitors can watch me in my habitat. Yay! Jurassic Me!

But you know they’re just gonna do something to tick me off. Then I’ll have to run wild on all of the evolved alien folk. Those are gonna be some sweet times!

Human Anatomy Tumblers

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Human Anatomy Tumblers
I’ll tumble for ya. I’ll tumble for ya. I’ll tumble for you! Get out of my head Boy George! Anyway, these Human Anatomy Tumblers will teach you all about the grossness that is the human body as you sip your morning coffee, which is laced with bourbon to get you through the day. What? That’s just me? Okay, cool. One is all about the body and the other is all about the brain. Both are about being filled with liquid. Much like my bladder. So if you will excuse me I have to-

There’s no excuse for you.

Hey, shut up stupid neighbor kid yelling through my window. I’m blogging here.

So shut your blog-hole and stop blogging out loud! *Shows kid these anatomy cups. Kid runs away crying.* Mom, the creepy guy grossed me out again!
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Custom Coffin Doll Carriage / Wet Bar

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Custom Coffin Doll Carriage Wet Bar
This Custom Coffin Doll Carriage / Wet Bar can be used for either thing. It can also be used for a real baby. I’m just guessing here, cuz no woman has bothered to have one with me. I see no reason why you can’t take your little monster out for a stroll in this thing and also have some room for your drinks on board. Imagine the concerned looks from other parents and the concerned calls to child services.

How many times do I have to tell you people that the kid is just sleeping? Great, now you woke him up? Do YOU wanna change his diaper. Maybe then you’ll believe me that he is alive. That ain’t embalming fluid! That’s grade A human baby s**t. Leave my baby and I alone and stop persecuting me for mylove of coffin shaped accessories!