Tag: halloween

Creepy And Cool Creature Cups

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Creepy And Cool Creature Cups
These creature cups are pretty neat. They have better surprises on the bottom than my cups. Of course I don’t do dishes, so I tend to grow bacteria samples that turn into little wavy tentacles. It makes your tea taste extra biological and when you take that last sip, that tentacle high fives your tongue and gives ya a little kiss with one of it’s suckers.

These come in all kinds of versions, sharks, octopus, spiders and more. They aren’t as cool as the ones I grow, but hey, they won’t leave weird STDs on your tongue.
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Lizard King Mask

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lizard king mask
Holy leaping lizards! I am the lizard king. I can do anything! This lizard king mask is awesome as hell. I mean, just imagine being the actual lizard king! Every time you walk into a room full of lizards, they would all stand at attention. Fancy medieval castle music might even play.

I personally never thought that I would get a shot at lizard royalty, but this mask gives me a chance at my dreams. I would make a few grunts and order a random Chameleon executed while I stuff my fat lizard face with food. I hate those guys. I would go mad with power.

Be right back. Gotta drain the lizard!
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Ventriloquist Mask Makes You The Dummy

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Ventriloquist Mask
This Ventriloquist Mask makes you the dummy. Wait. Isn’t the Ventriloquist always the dummy? And the dummy is always the ventriloquist. Man, it’s confusing when one dude talks as another without moving his lips. Also, ventriloquist is really hard to spell. I googled it to check the spelling and it said, “F**k that. Too hard.” Hope I got it right, because the first time I spelled it “ventrilo-queff-ist” and I’m like, really? No way is that right cuz one person can NOT fart for another without moving their lips.

Anyway, this mask makes you look like a dummy. Also like Alfred E. Newman. What me worry? Nah. I never worry. Unless I see this face coming at me. Then I’m screaming like a banshee. And by banshee I mean little girl.

The Zombie Simpsons

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zombie simpsons
We’ve featured UndeadEds work before. The man is prolific at churning out disgusting things. I mean that in a good way. His latest work are these The Zombie Simpsons, which features your favorite Springfield characters as The Walking Dead. They even glow in the dark so you won’t need a flashlight to see them at night.

Reminds me of the time the power went out and the wife told me to grab the flashlight. It ended with, “Ohhhh. I thought you said grab the fleshlight. That makes more sense. Better put this back then.”

Hit the link to see them in all their gory. I mean glory.

Spider Baby Plush Toys

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Spider Baby Plush Toys
The spider babies are coming! The spider babies are coming! This is gonna require some king sized fly swatters! Like those huge wood spatulas they use for getting pizza out of the oven. Bring out your biggest boots and start stomping. These hairy-backed and baby-headed Spider Baby Plush Toys from scrumptiousdelight are pure nightmare fuel.

*Sees baby in a stroller all swaddled up in a blanket. baby head and top hat sticking out.* Awwww. Aren’t you a cute baby. Is that 8 ribs I see under your blanky-wanky? *Opens blanket. Sees eight legs.* SPIDER BABY! *Runs away screaming. Web hits me in the back. Spins me into a cocoon.*

*Wakes up an hour later on the sidewalk next to rows of other cocooned humans.* Spider baby? Me too. I hate spider babies!
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