Get your tentacles off of my coffee. I didn’t touch your coffee. What do you take me for, a sucker? Like the ones on your tentacles? You kraken kleptomaniac! Okay, okay, I tried to steal your coffee. What about a trade instead? Hmmm. You mean a…. Fair trade? Forget it man, I don’t drink coffee with someone who makes bad jokes like that. Bean there, done that! Your joke was worse! Time to slap each other senseless with our tentacles and settle this for good! Then we can get back to our Octopus Tentacles Coffee Mugs.
Tag: kraken
Awesome Cryptozoology Cryptid Action Figures
Forget GI Joes and Star Wars figures. These Cryptozoology Cryptid Action Figures are the toys you need to be playing with. The set includes Bigfoot, Yeti, Loch Ness Monster, Jackalope, Kraken, Furry Trout, and Coelacanth. Man, I hope they release a UFO playset so I can have the aliens drop Bigfoot off to harass people.
Also gonna mix these with some Gangster action figures so I can pit the bloods against the Crypts… tids.
It Is Time To Unleash The… Kraken Corkscrew
Screw you Kraken. No… Corkscrew you! This Kraken Corkscrew will open your wine in the coolest way possible. By having a Kraken attack your bottle and eat the cork. He loves eating the cork. He’s more of a corken really. Hey can anybody help me open this wine bottle? I can. Summon the Kraken! It is the ultimate kitchen accessory. He Kracks stuff open. And don’t forget about the Day of the Dead corkscrew.
Unleash This Mighty Kraken Men’s Tie
The mighty Kraken. He’s kraken large boats, kraken boots with the female sea monsters, dude is kraka-laken everything. Honor this mighty beast with this cool Kraken Men’s Tie. Go ahead and wear it. Don’t be an Octo-puss. You will have the coolest tie in your office. Unless some other dude wears one too, then it will be a tie. Get it? A tie? I know, I know. The comedy never ends. Check out this cool tie too.
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Large Kraken Octopus Plush
Unleash the Kraken. And set him over there on the couch. Dude looks cool. This Large Kraken Octopus Plush is large and in charge. *Puts nerd glasses on.* Technically it’s an Octo-Plush not an Octopus. Etsy seller WowWowGifty has several different styles of huge Kraken available and if you want something different tell them to get Kraken on it right away.
Just set this guy on a barstool or on your couch and wrap his arms around you whenever you feel cold. He’s basically a blanket. Or a scarf for eight people. Or an eight person strangling machine. It’s all about perspective, isn’t it? Check this out: Spin him around on a barstool and you have a tentacled face-slapping machine. So versatile! So stingy and slimy when those suckers hit ya.