Labradorite Mini Skulls

Labradorite Mini Skulls
Oh, shiny! These Labradorite Mini Skulls shimmer like a rainbow. It’s like the end of the rainbow is at a mass grave, with a leprechaun dancing a jig above. Labradorite… That’s a fun word. Say it with me. Lab-ra-dor-ite. There is no labradorwrong, only labradorite. These are some of the shiniest skulls I’ve ever seen and I used to have a job waxing and buffing that Pawn Stars guy’s head. We parted ways when he started that, “I’m sorry, our expert says that your services are only worth five dollars” crap. I wanted 50. That guy never names a fair price.

These are so pretty my skull hertz. Nah, I spelled that fine. It mega-hertz! Glad we’re on the same frequency. Normally to get these skulls you would have to hire a Labradorite Retriever and have him sniff them out, but you can just click the link above. I’m sure they are a Labra of love for the artist. Heh. I slay me. *Cough* No, really. Just slayed me. *Cough* Backed right into a decorative Hobbit sword. *Coughs blood* Avenge me!

Mini Roadkill Raccoon

Mini Roadkill Raccoon
Mini Roadkill. It’s like life-sized roadkill, only less messy, with less stink and decomposing. This Mini Roadkill Raccoon will make a great accent piece for your desk, table, shelf, wherever you need a small animal with tire tracks across it’s flattened body. Do you think his name is Stanley? As in flat Stanley? Speaking of that dude, maybe you can mail this guy back and forth across the world, as a reminder to look when you drive. I’m just spit-balling ideas.

I have no idea what to do with a flattened Raccoon. Put it on your Christmas tree behind an elf on a cycle, so it looks like he’s leaving the scene of an accident. Or maybe it was no accident. Elves are demented like that.

Weird Skullapillar Mini Puppet

skullapillar
This Skullapillar mini puppet just wants a hug. And since your body is too big, just give the little guy your finger. Let him squeeze it real tight. Paint a little Skullapiller face on your finger and he might even fall in love. Start smooching your finger as he holds it tight, doing a little slow dance.

Until he BITES YOUR FAKE FINGER FACE OFF because that’s how they mate. What are you crazy? You don’t go sticking your finger anywhere near a Skullapillar! What’s wrong with you? Look at him snacking on your fingertip, with that sex afterglow on his mandible face.
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Disney Princess Massacre Mini Top-Hat

disney princess hatShow everyone how you really feel about Disney Princesses. If you want to see them massacred and smashed, this is the hat for you. It makes a fashion statement and tells everyone how you feel. I know I’m sick of all these animated and emaciated Princesses singing silly songs at me.

Four Disney Princess’ lay dead:
Cinderella sits upright, impaled with her glass slipper.
Snow Whites’ jaw, ripped right off.
Aurora has been zombified. Her eye ball hangs out while she holds the heart of her Prince.
Ariel, caught by fishermen, the flesh of her tail torn off and eaten, leaving nothing but bone.

This hat makes me happy. (Mostly because I met a chick named Jasmine. She didn’t rub my lamp.) More images below.
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