I didn’t do it! Don’t look at me. I was just sipping my morning coffee. It looked like normal mug when I started. Took a few sips and BOOM. Baby bump. Now it’s a Pregnant Lady Cup. Great. Now I’m gonna have to be responsible for several little baby cups. I can’t even take care of myself. Guess I’m gonna have to move back in with mom and dad. I think she trapped me, but what can you do?
Tag: mug
Frankenstein Monster And Bride Of Frankenstein Mugs
Check out these cool Frankenstein Monster And Bride Of Frankenstein Mugs. After you’ve been married a few years, this is how you see each other anyway, so you might as well get them. Trust me, I was married for like 20 years one summer.
Now you can have his and hers monster mugs. Which won’t last long cuz she’ll just throw hers at you one morning and then blame you for it, then break your own cup to teach you a lesson. Then you are back to square one with no monster mugs. That’s just love. Also, possibly a lack of medication.
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Nasty Human Mouth Coffee Cup
Is it wrong that these nasty mouth coffee cups make me want to tongue my mug really good to get that last drop of coffee? I’m a sucker for a mouth that looks like it belongs to a sea hag with a serious meth problem. No, meth problem. Not math problem. She only has a math problem if she can’t count the few teeth she has.
These human mouth coffee mugs certainly look enticing. They are based on new technology that makes you vomit a little in your cup for every sip you take. A sip of coffee for a bit of sick sounds like a fair exchange to me. However that anus with a tooth known as “C” really scares me.
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The Mugga Mug Makes Your Coffee Look Like A Thief
This Mugga Mug is all dressed up like a thief and it has already stolen my heart. I would take this mug everywhere as I wake up and run my morning errands. No way it would get me in trouble. No way.
First it’s off to the bank where I would set it down by the teller. She would take one look at the mug and hand me a stack of money, telling me to just take it and leave. Sweet! My bank is the best. Nice people! An alarm goes off as I leave, but I’ll just let the police deal with it. No need to be a hero today. Then it’s off to the convenience store where the same thing happens. I wonder why everyone is being so nice when I notice the fuzz pulling up outside and drawing weapons. That’s when I realize this mug is like a “give me all your money note”.
No problem. I’m cool in high stress situations. I pay for my stuff, wipe my fingerprints off the handle and point to the guy behind me in line and say “You get a free mug today!” He’s all like, “Awesome. I love free stuff.”
I leave the counter as if pushed and rush out the door looking scared for my life and announce, “He says the first hostage has been released, but he’s not going down without a fight.”
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True That: Coffee Makes Me Poop Mug
Coffee. The world’s tastiest laxative. At least it keeps you awake. Probably because you have to be awake to poop. Well, that’s not strictly true. C’mon, we’ve all pooped the bed at least once or twice. Three times in my case, but that’s only because I like a good cup of Joe before bed. It gets me just wired enough that my dreams are all like “WTF Am I on acid?” Of course the down side is that when your eyelids close, your sphincter opens. Needless to say, the washing machine gets clogged and then the repair guy is like, “Who the f**k takes a dump in their washing machine. I’m obligated by law to report this to my superiors.”
So of course, I’m not allowed to do laundry within a 100 mile radius now. Man, I’m really flying high on a double mocha right now. Can you tell? Oh and this cool mug is here.