Meditating Skeletons And Skull Mugs

Meditating Skeletons And Skull Mugs
How often does a skeleton meditate? Oh, every now and zen. Haha, I crack me up. Check out these cool Meditating Skeletons And Other Skull Mugs from Etsy seller NicolePangasCeramics. That skeleton has attained enlightenment. Too bad he didn’t attain some meat on his bones. I don’t know anything about Buddhism or Hinduism, but I… Like big Buddhas and I can not lie…

Seriously, these mugs are pretty cool. They have all kinds of cool creepy looking drinkware. How do you get into a meditative state? Simple. Just relax your mind, empty your thoughts and cross the border. Whoa that’s deep. Deepak Chopra…
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Ghost-Bat Shoulder Bag

Ghost-Bat Shoulder Bag
The legend of Ghost bat lives on! Ghost bat. Other bats fear him, because deep down inside, they want to be just like him. He’s a bat. He’s a ghost. He’s the ghost bat with the most. Screw that Casper guy. The Ghost-Bat Shoulder Bag is awesome. How they trapped the soul of a bat on a shoulder bag, I have no idea, but it is cool as f**k. eeekkkkkk. ekkkkkkkkkk. Wait, do they ekkk or shriek. Now I’m not sure. I know they like to poop in caves. Hey, it’s always preferable to poop indoors when given the choice. Otherwise you have to use this.

The Goat Man vs The Chupacabra Salt And Pepper Shakers

The Goat Man vs The Chupacabra Salt And Pepper Shakers
Ladies and gentlemen, the match you have been waiting for. No, not my butt, your face! The Goat Man vs The Chupacabra. It’s the goat vs the goat sucker. The South American sucker vs the horned half-man. Fight! Oh no. The Goat Man has left the ring and is eating all the trash. What’s this? The Chupacabra has jumped off the top rope and clothes lined the Goat Man. The Chupacabra is doing all it can to suck the blood from the Goatman, but all the goatman wants to do is eat the arena garbage…

Make every meal an episode of In Search of… Or sightings, or Ancient Aliens or whatevs. You determine who is salt and who is pepper. These crazy cryptids want to spice up your life.

Insanely Creepy Clown Tarot Card Deck

Insanely Creepy Clown Tarot Card Deck
Clowns. I hate ’em. I’d hunt ’em if I could get a permit. I’ve tried. They are apparently never in season. This Creepy Clown Tarot Card Deck is like a visit from the most demented clown you have ever seen. Like he ties you up, pulls up a chair and gets his cards out, while he’s honking his horn and laughing all silly, drives around you real quick in a clown car, all his friends pile out and he gets out last, then they all sit around you in a circle and deal your tarot cards out.

Some of them are crying. You don’t know why. Perhaps internal torment from being natures painted demons. Some of them are blowing their nose and producing flowers from the handkerchief. You scream and no one seems to hear. The animal balloons are flying around like lofty latex clouds. Ronald McDonald looks on from the shadows way in the back. You might say they are an Insane Clown Posse.

*Shudders*

No thanks, I’ll get my readings from gypsies and grifters like I always have. As long as you don’t paint your face and squirt water on me with a flower, you can have all my money.
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Junk Food Soap

junk food soap
DirtyAssSoap sells Junk Food Soap. All kinds of soap that looks like delicious food. Whether you are scrubbing your pits with cheez its or cleaning your taint with some gummy bears, these soaps will make bathing fun. This isn’t new to me. I usually have like 10 plates and bowls of junk food in the bathtub with me, all floating around me like diabetic lily pads.

Did I mention I bathe in the pool? How else ya gonna get a junk food buffet floating around you? I usually shave by rubbing a cupcake against my face and lathering up with that sweet sweet frosting. I always forget and lick the blade afterwards.
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