Turn your dog or cat into the king of the jungle with this Lion Pet Wig. Other animals will cower to your pet at the dog park. I’m thinking about wearing one myself. It might make me the alpha-nerd in the comic book store. I said I wanted issue #1 NOW! Roarrrrrrr. *Collects myself* Thank you and have a nice day. But mister- I said good day sir!
In the jungle, the mighty jungle a nerd sleeps tonight. Wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh.
Road kill. There’s them that kills ’em and keeps on driving and them that eat’s ’em and thanks ’em for dyin’! Get yourself a snugly and cuddly creature who has been smooshed into a pancake with it’s guts sticking out. I’m getting one of these Road Kill Toys for my nephew. It’s educational. It will teach him to look twice before crossing the street. And make him cry.
These already-been-killed stuffed animals feature zipped sides that let you pack their spilled organs back in. Plus each one comes in its own clear plastic body bag. Nice!
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Everybody needs some chocolate tools in their toolbox. These tools are made from chocolate. So if you have a screw loose and need a chocolate fix, grab a wrench and shove it in your mouth. The wife wants to know how the plumbing is coming along. *yelling* Just fine dear. *Om nom nom nom* Nothing going on in here. *Nom nom* Everything is just fine. *door opens*
Hi dear.
WHAT is all over your mouth and face? Have you been sneaking chocolate again?
Um….Blew in the sewer pipe…Had some uh… blowback. Toilet is working now. If you’ll excuse me, I’ll just pack up what’s left of my tools and be off. Good day.
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Man, I’m beat. I spent all day installing some sea blue carpet so I can wear these Chomping Shark Slippers and shuffle back and forth in search of chum. I call it shark room.
The first rule of shark room is: We don’t talk about shark room.
The second rule of shark room is: You don’t enter without wearing your chompers.
The third rule of shark room is: You don’t blog about shark room.
Well, I guess I’m out, having violated rules 1 and 3. It was fun while it lasted.
Peanut Butter And Jelly Socks. My motto is, “Comfort food makes comfortable clothing”. That’s probably why I just found a spare hot dog in my shirt pocket. *Yeah, whatever. Is that cake in your underpants?* No, but it is homemade.
Anyway, guess what time it is? It’s Peanut Butter Jelly time. *Dances around in my PB and J socks. Stopping to grab a knife so I can spread some peanut butter and jelly on the appropriate socks, then gets back to dancing, crushing slices of bread everywhere and making like a hundred sandwiches all mashed up together.*
*Breathing hard. Leaning against the wall.* Peanut…butter…Jelly…tired now. *Falls on sticky white bread dance floor*