Tag: novelty

Puff-N-Fluff Dog Dryer

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puff n fluff
Get ready for the Puff-N-Fluff! What’s a Puff-N-Fluff? I think it’s one of them Harry Potter teams. Could be what Ron and Harry get up to after hours too. Sounds like a relaxing tuck in between two friends. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Anyway this Puff-N-Fluff is basically an astronaut suit for your dog.

You give your dog a bath. He gets water and suds all over the God Damn place and then you suit him up like he’s going to Mars to lift his leg on the Mars Rover and dig up some Martian bones. Only he’s not. You’re going to attach your hair dryer and give him a good blow until he’s nice and clean.

Why can’t I get a suit like this? I like a good blow(dry) as much as any dog.
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David Bowie Hanging Mobile: For Bowie Babies

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david bowie mobile
It’s never too early to introduce your baby to the genius that is David Bowie. The best way to do so is with this David Bowie Hanging Mobile. You and your baby can be heroes. Just for one day.

If you bought the photo of David Bowie getting arrested, you could hang that up in the nursery too. Your kid will be listening to Ziggy Stardust in no time and will grow up to become a real Space Oddity.
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This Belt Buckle Will Take A Bullet For You

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bullet belt buckle
Pew! Pew! Pew! You missed me! Thank God I have my bullet belt buckle to catch lead. This is the biggest, baddest, rootin’ tootin’est, Texas, Remember the Alamo, give me liberty or give me death belt buckle ever to hold a man’s drawers in place. Yee-Haw!

This piece of redneck royalty-wear is $99. Can I get a hundred dolla holla?

Holllllllla!

Sold! To the man with the ten gallon hat and the 40 gallon waistline.

Eye Exam Chart Tights

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eye exam tights
These eye exam chart tights will let you check out a great pair of legs while also taking an eye test. Damn girl! You gots a fine pair o legs. And thanks for the free checkup! You’ll be happy to know that I scored a perfect 100% on the test. The real question is, how do I score with you? Hmmm? They say I’m popular with the tight-wearing 20-30 year old female demographic.

On the other hand, I also score high with the crazy cat lady 60-70 year old demographic. Beauty is both a blessing and a curse.
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ButtHeads Are Cuddly Plush Cigarettes

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buttheads cigarette plushWhat a bunch of ButtHeads. Some are cute and some look grumpy, but these butts are for cuddling not for smoking. You can choose from: smoked, not smoked or stepped on. Pro tip: If they come home with lipstick on their filter, you know they have been cheating on you.

These huggable and lovable butts might even help you quit smoking. Just punch it or hug it. Or both. While others are lighting up in their smoking areas, join them with your ButtHead and softly caress it as you smell that sweet smoke. Take it with you everywhere in place of smoking. On the bus, to the movies, to dinner. When the craving becomes too much, strangle your ButtHead. That’s what it’s there for. It’s sooooo hard to quit. Which is why your ButtHead will end up shredded, on the wrong side of a knife as you completely lose it.

Damn. That felt good. I need a smoke after that.