Oh yeah. Minty Poop happens to me all of the time. Sometimes from Wintergreen lifesavers, Peppermint Patties, Girl Scout Thin Mint cookies. Minty poop is so refreshing. It’s like a minty effervescent ice cube coming out your butt. It’s the only poop that freshens the bathroom for you. And the colors. So pretty. Like minty poopy soft serve with faces.
Tag: novelty
Zombie Rabbit Fanny Pack Is A Rabid Rucksack
Oh damn. My fanny is in trouble now! Wear this Zombie Rabbit Fanny Pack and store your stuff inside, but don’t be surprised if it bites you in some sensitive areas. This crazed little nad and butt biter does not give one f**k. You can just tell. I think it’s the crazed eyes and the exposed teeth. Call it a hunch. This is one rabid rabbit. A horrible hare. A rascally rodent. A crazy cottontail. Thugs Bunny.
Yeah, I think I’ll just put stuff in my pockets. I don’t know who framed Roger Rabbit, but I’m pretty sure this guy killed him, then hid the body somewhere in Arizona and erased all evidence. He’s been going from hip to hip ever since, staying one step ahead of the law.
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No Thank You – Large Plush Spiders
Zootoys has a few of these soft nightmares to choose from. Large Plush Spiders require large plush flyswatters or bigger boots. What has 8 eyes, is completely harmless and scares the bejesus out of me, so that I have to shred it with a knife until it’s stuffing flies everywhere? These things. I don’t care if they are real or plush, spiders is spiders and nature’s scurrying nightmare!
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Scarecrow Face Warmer Mask
I’m gonna get a Scarecrow Face Warmer Mask and sing in the forest.
I could while away the hours
Conferrin’ with the flowers,
Consulting with the rain;
And my head I’d be a scratchin’
While my thoughts are busy hatchin’
If I only had a brain.
Then a girl from Kansas would spot me. I would turn around and she would scream and run away terrified. Which is cool cuz I’m not from Kansas and I’m not interested in a long distance relationship right now.
Toxic Skull Christmas Ornament
If you want a cool skull for your creepy Christmas tree, this Toxic Skull Christmas Ornament should do the trick. It’s just dripping and oozing it’s toxic goo all over the place. This guy must have fallen into a vat of chemicals. You know what that means. He’s probably going to become the Toxic Avenger now. It melts on your tree and not in your hand. That makes me really want some M & M’s now.