Send your friends a postcard that says, “I believe in these mythical monsters and so should you.” This Mythical Monster Postcard Set includes Bigfoot, Wendigo, the Loch Ness Monster and ‘El Chupacabra. Sending a postcard is like giving your friends their own sighting. In their mailbox.
Tag: odd
Bat Choker Necklace
This Bat Choker Necklace looks awesome. Let me clarify, cuz words can be confusing. This jewelry is called a bat choker, but is not about choking bats. Choking bats is bad and I’m pretty sure it is illegal in at least 11 states. It is in fact a bat that also happens to be a choker… No, I don’t mean that this bat flies around choking victims. That would just be silly and anyway, there hasn’t been a bat-choking case since 1881. And I’m pretty sure that guy choked on a hot dog and just blamed a bat. No, it’s- I give up. I just wanted to share this cool necklace. Sheesh.
Cthulhu Polo Shirt
If I actually went to an office everyday, I would wear this Cthulhu Polo Shirt. It proclaims your allegiance to Cthulhu while keeping things casual. But I don’t go to the office.
No office can contain me, cuz I work my ass off and rise to the top. I’m the cream baby! I’m the American dream! This wolf is on Wall Street. Werewolf that is! ARF! ARF! WHO GOT MY STOCKS? MY MONEY DOUBLES ON A FULL MOON! I’m trying to say I’m a real go-getter! Cuz I spend half my day going to get coffee, donuts, chips, pie… I don’t need no stinkin’ office to pass out in when my sugar coma hits. My couch works just fine.
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Gothic Skeleton Bottle Opener
You could get this Gothic Skeleton Bottle Opener or you could do what I do. Which is, stick a beer bottle in your grandfather’s mouth and pop that cap off while granddad is sleeping soundly. Turns out false teeth are really great at opening beer bottles. What’s not so great are all of those bottle caps that had to pumped out of his stomach. Sorry Grandpa.
Grandpa would prefer that I use one of these skull openers, but I really don’t see the difference. They look just like one another. Except Gramps has liver spots all over. Looks like a geriatric Cheetah. Say meow grampa!
Cat Eating Mouse Door Knocker
Just look at that cat-eating grin. This Cat Eating Mouse Door Knocker is pretty awesome. For the cat. Not so much for the mouse. Just swing the mouse and knock on the door. But knock 3 times. I might be getting busy inside, if you know what I mean. Hint, hint. Nudge, nudge. Heh. Yeah, probably not. Okay, just knock regular-like. Most likely I’ll be feeding my face and watching Netflix.
On a side-note, damn that cat is bronzed like a New Jersey housewife. Somebody done bronzed their puss. Now don’t be dirty, I’m just talkin’ ’bout the cat door knocker.
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