Tag: plush

Pee & Poo Plush Dolls Are Best Buds

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pee & poo plush toys
Pee and Poo. They’re a stinky bowl of best buds. Aren’t these Pee & Poo Plush Dolls cute? Hug ’em, squeeze ’em, rub ’em, against each other and see what rubs off. If they are anything like the real thing, you’ll play with the pee several times a day and be lucky to see poo once every other and he’ll make it really difficult for you to let him go.

It’s the only acceptable way to play with pee and poo, so go for it. All of your other toys will be disgusted.
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Dream Creepers Are Plush Nightmares

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dream creeper
Jeeper creepers! Where’d ya get those Dream Creepers? From Busymockingbird of course. True to the shop name, they are busy. Busy churning out crazy creatures that are ready to invade your dreams and make them nightmares. They’re kind of like the mullet of the monster world: Creepy business up front with their demonic heads and a cute party in the back with their colorful bodies.

Guess who isn’t sleeping tonight! Did you guess my neighbor? You guessed right. Because I bought one and it’s going to look into his window while he sleeps and wake him up and stuff as he screams and pees his bed. That’ll teach you to take my parking spot! I may whisper the words, “Dreammmmmm Creeperrrrrrr” too.
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Big Butt Buddy Crochet Pattern

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big butt crochet
This Big Butt Buddy Crochet Pattern is exactly what it sounds like, a big crochet butt that will be your buddy.

Why you cheeky little-

Just talkin’ ’bout Butt Buddy.

You know what that means right?

Yeah, my buddy who is also a butt.

You mean your butt buddy?

Sure.

Ohhhhhh. Now I get it. Whatevs. I’m man enough to admit that me and my heinie homie are butt buddies.
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Plush Spam Sandwich

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plush spam sandwich
Hey it’s a Plush Spam Sandwich! I’m torn. On the one hand it’s spam which is a known (to my toilet)diuretic and is vomit inducing. On the other hand, it’s a plush that looks kinda cute. What to do? I think I’ll have the best of both worlds and puke while I cuddle it.

Kinda like I did that night I found out my date was packing a sausage in her spam sandwich. It was cuddly and cozy. With tears.

Sloth in a Matchbox

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etsy sloth in a matchbox
Hey a Sloth in a Matchbox. He looks super comfy in there too. Makes me think of my dear departed grandmother. She used to always say, “Get up you lazy idiot. You’re like a sloth in a matchbox!” Yeah, too bad I’m not a sloth in a matchbox wearing headphones you old- Then the frying pan would hit me in the head.

That’s horrible. You said departed. When did your grandmother die?

Die? Look at this knot on my skull. Does that look like she left this Earth? She got this sloth out of the matchbox and departed for the grocery store. That crazy old bat. Is it odd that I like to sleep on matchstick shavings? Now if you’ll excuse me this sloth is going back to bed. Extinguish all lit cigarettes please.