Tag: strange

Vintage Bavarian Charivari Fox Teeth Locket

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Vintage Bavarian Charivari Fox Teeth Locket
This Vintage Bavarian Charivari Fox Teeth Locket is some jewelry with bite. *Puts my finger near it. Pulls it away.* This locket idea is crazy. Yeah, crazy like a fox. It’s nothin’ but teeth. This thing belongs on The X-Files. Ya know why? Cuz you wear this and you become Dana Scully. That teeth locket? Fox Molar. Ha ha ha. Get it? The tooth is out there!

If you do wear this, you’re gonna be one foxy lady. *Does the Jimi Hendrix guitar riff* C’mon, you know you’re a cute little heartbreaker… Foxy.

Vintage Bavarian Charivari Fox Teeth Locket

Vintage Bavarian Charivari Fox Teeth Locket

The Notebook Of Cthulhu

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The Notebook Of Cthulhu
You know what I would do with The Notebook Of Cthulhu? I would read every entry and find out who his crush is, find out what he really thought about the last season of Gossip Girl, say “I know, right!” out loud a few times, and munch on some popcorn, saying “Oh no he dit-int!” when he talks smack about the Kardashian clan. Then I would gently close it and wait for the next volume to be written. And hope that he never ever knows I read his diary.

By the way, did you read about how he was all tentacle to tentacle with that Kraken? I know, right! And don’t tell him I said so, but he was like, super crushed when Veronica wouldn’t go out with him. Crazy!
Read more “The Notebook Of Cthulhu”

Purified Cow’s Urine – Need Cow Pee? Urine Luck!

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Godhan Ark (Purified Cow's Urine or Distilled Cow Urine)
I’m not sure why anyone would want Purified Cow’s Urine. Or PCU as I am sure they refer to it in the cow urine biz. Supposedly it “improves digestion and intelligence” among other things.

If you say so.

You know what else improves digestion and intelligence? Eating some fruit while reading a book! If it really improved intelligence, guys like Albert Einstein and Stephen Hawking would be underneath a cow all the time, trying to get smarter so they can solve the mysteries of the universe. But guess what? You can’t solve the mysteries of the universe with cow golden showers!

Myth busted!
Your welcome!

Ouija Board Wooden Serving Tray with Planchette Coasters

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Ouija Board Wooden Serving Tray with Planchette Coasters
This Ouija Board Wooden Serving Tray with Planchette Coasters is a great way to serve guests during a seance or just everyday.

Your dinner is ready sir.

Thank you Jeeves. You know what to do next.

*Jeeves sighs* Did you have any questions sir?

In fact I do my good man. One simple question. Will I enjoy this dinner?

*Jeeves moves the planchette around my hamburger and fries, until the spirits make it hover over YES* All good sir. You will enjoy.

Excellent Jeeves. That will be all. *Fits napkin inside my collar. Slices into my burger with a knife and fork as my pinky strays carefree. Tastes it. Swirling it around on my tongue. Spits it out!* Damn that lying witches tool! Come here Jeeves, this instant!

Hey, Why not? – Breast Milk Jewelry

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Hey, Why not- Breast Milk Jewelry
So yeah, Breast Milk Jewelry is a thing now. Whaaaaa Whaaaaa, hey I’m teething over here, hows about you break out one of those tasty milk dispensers and feed me already! Says the baby. But mom can’t. You know why? Because she used all of her milk up to make jewelry. Sad, but true. You’ll just have to stop your whining and drink GMO milk like the rest of us.

All kidding aside… Breast jewelry ever. Even if it is udder-ly ridiculous.