Fortune Telling Squirrel Taxidermy

fortune telling squirrelEtsy seller DeadGoodJewellery‘s friend found some roadkill by the roadside(off-road kill in that case) so naturally they played with the corpse and turned it into a dead fortune telling squirrel. Because that is what most of us would do in that situation. She says that it is inspired by the film “The Imaginarium Of Doctor Parnassus”.

Let me gaze into my crystal ball… I see darkness. No. Two lights approach.

Is it a tall handsome stranger?

No. It is a car.

Is it my car?

No. The headlights draw closer. The light is blinding.

Is it my mother? She is supposed to pick me up after this reading.

No. It is…Ahhhhh! So much blood.

Oh no. Am I going to die?

What? Sorry. Was seeing my own death in this thing. That happens sometimes. Holy hell! What a bloody mess! Where were we? Oh yeah. Your reading. Looks like you are destined to be mauled by a dead squirrel who is hell-bent on revenge. The answer is yes. You ARE going to die!
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Apocalypse Ready Squirrel Taxidermy

Apocalypse Ready Squirrel TaxidermyThis Squirrel is prepared for the apocalypse. Are you? He has his machine gun, gas mask, extra ammo belt and some ear protection for target practice. This rodent is ready for action. Mount him on your wall as a reminder that you must be prepared.

When the Zombies come and the mutant dogs and wolves run in packs, you’ll wish you had the foresight that this squirrel had. He is only $155 from Etsy seller Rickscustompottery. We can all learn alot from this little guy.
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Miniature Mouse Skin Rug

Miniature Mouse Skin RugNow you’re living in style. This miniature mouse skin rug will creep up your home. It’s not really big enough for your floor at just 6 inches long, but it makes a sweet coaster. Use it to send a clear message to any mice that want to invade your home. This is what happens to mice around these parts.

Attach a swiffer pad to the bottom for some weird serial killer cleaning. It is just $60. More shots after the break.
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Mummified Baby Possum With Four Arms

possumThe latest in horror action figures is this mummified baby possum with not two, but four arms. For $349. he has zero points of articulation, but is very imposing in an action stance. Display this guy with your superhero figures. I would suggest you pit him against Batman, so that the Caped Crusader is all like, “Damn, WTF! Gotham just got too freaky for me bro. Alfred, fuel the yacht and get some babes on board. We are leaving town. Let that pansy ward of mine protect the city for awhile. Okay, what the hell is Glee and why is he watching it?”

More shots below.
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Venomous Vulture Raptor Chick Hatching From Egg

Venomous Vulture Raptor ChickYou see this crazy-ass little monster here? This is why you either eat eggs or you stomp them into dust in the wild. Never collect eggs. Sooner or later, something is going to hatch out of that egg and kill you. Yes, even silly putty eggs! Not gonna go into that story here, but f**k silly putty! It should be called traumatic childhood trauma putty!

Anyway, if you like crazy stuff busting out from an egg and eating your face off, this Venomous Vulture Raptor Chick is for you. It is the work of an ebay taxidermist/mad scientist who never sleeps. And now, neither will you, if thing enters your home. This hatchling is made from western diamondback rattlesnake & domestic turkey chick parts. Cool. So basically the same stuff the FDA allows in Chicken Nuggets.

More images below.
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