Octopus Bedding

Octopus Bedding
I’d like to be, under the sea, in an Octopus’ garden with you. I’m not sure what they grow in their garden, but it sounds cool. Anything sounds cool when you are the Beatles and doing enough drugs. “Paul, me mate! I ave a great idea fer a song. It’s about an Octopus.”

Well, if you want to be all covered in octopus tentacles, check out this cool Octopus bedding. They have a bunch of colors and styles to choose from. Pretty cool. Calamari cool. Yeah, I know calamari is squid and not octopus. Just let me say cool things!

Hail Hydra! I’m out!
Read more “Octopus Bedding”

Octopus Lamp

Octopus Lamp
Damn. This Octopus lamp is scary as hell.

Daddy, why is that Octopus wrestling that lamp?

You see Billy, when an Octopus loves a lamp very much, he forcibly grabs the lamp and wraps himself around it so it can’t get away. Then he has his way with it. Hopefully with the lights out. It cares not about permission. I’m sorry you had to see that son.
Read more “Octopus Lamp”

Kraken Of The Sea Hooded Scarf

Kraken Of The Sea Hooded Scarf
Kraken of the Sea. Isn’t that what happens when the can says Chicken of the Sea, but when you open it, tentacles flail out, getting all in your nostrils and stuff? Happened to me once. Tickled.

This Kraken Of The Sea Hooded Scarf is a hoodie and a scarf in one. It’s being modeled by a lovely redhead who was just a mermaid in the wrong place at the wrong time. The right place would have been my place. The right time? 9 o’clock. Before you come over, slip into something a little more casual. I already have tentacles that will be all over you. *Raises eyebrows up and down.*
Read more “Kraken Of The Sea Hooded Scarf”

All 47 Vice Presidents With Octopuses On Their Heads

All 47 Vice Presidents With Octopuses On Their Heads
This ink/watercolor print goes Full Veeptopus. Showing all 47 Vice Presidents with Octopuses on Their Heads. I know what you’re thinking. Why just the Veeps? Every politician acts like they have an octopus on their head.

Well, I have no idea. I just know that the President is a puppet, being controlled by one giant octopus that lives in the whitehouse ceiling. It doesn’t have suckers on it’s tentacles. Because we are the suckers.
Read more “All 47 Vice Presidents With Octopuses On Their Heads”

Needle Felted Octopus Tentacles

Needle Felted Octopus Tentacles
Bring the terror of the deep to your desk or coffee table with these cool Needle Felted Octopus Tentacles. It came from the deep and now you are in the deep. Caca that is. This 6 piece sculpture consists of 3 different sized tentacles and accompanying wave breaks. They look downright terrifying.

I’ll put them on my table, but if it reaches for my potato chips, I’m laying the smack down. It better not get all touchy feely on me when I’m watching TV. Just cuz you’re made of felt doesn’t mean I’m gonna get felt up. Behave.