Tag: xmas

Krampus Christmas Wrapping Paper

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Krampus Christmas Wrapping Paper
Celebrate anti-Christmas with this Krampus Christmas Wrapping Paper. He’s half man, half goat, all action hero. Or something like that. On the eve of December 6th, known as Krampusnacht, he wanders the night, punishing bad children by beating them with a switch, then dragging them to his lair! Never got me though. I had my own stick! WHACK! Take that Krampus and don’t ever come back to my town! Okay, I lied. I got taken back to his lair.

Oh, is this your lair? Are all these your guitars? Sweet! Your like a regular Peter Krampton! Or an Eric Krampton Clapton!

Zombie Brain Christmas Ornaments With Spinal Cords

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Zombie Brain Christmas Ornaments With Spinal Cords
Brains! Brains! Brains! Wait, what was I saying? Oh yeah, I need some head-flesh. Some Zombie Brain Christmas Ornaments for my Christmas tree. If you know a zombie who celebrates Xmas, these ornaments are for them. They can just pick them off the tree and eat them like candy. Which isn’t recommended for mere humans.

They won’t make your tree any smarter. If anything, decorating your tree with these during the winter months will lead to brain freeze. See what I did there?
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Naughty Nativities And Heavy Metal Christmas Figurines

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creepy nativity
Add a little Heavy Metal to your Christmas this year with figurines and nativities all done up in a Heavy Metal style. Etsy seller Coffincollector has all kinds of naughty and nice figurines that have been given a scary makeover.

They are guaranteed to give you a nightmare before Christmas. And during. And long after.
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Butt Ugly Light Up Christmas Sweater

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butt ugly christmas sweaterEverybody is wearing their ugly Christmas sweaters, but I’m gonna do them one better and get this Butt Ugly Christmas sweater. It has some really nice detail with all of that squiggly butt-hair and those butt-zits.

This will be a hit at the family Christmas party. It will really “crack” them up. I don’t mind. I’m always the butt of their jokes.

Looks Disappointed: Vintage Christmas Photo Of Asian Woman With Record Album

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asian woman christmasThis vintage photo of an Asian woman is creepy mostly because the decor of the era was so bad. It doesn’t help that she looks downright pissed off/sad about the record she just opened. It must have been ABBA’s greatest hits. Meanwhile, that guy to the left is totally stoked, because he knows he got some Atari 2600 games. Missile Command forever! Later they will live a mirror universe scene from “A Christmas Story”. After the Bumpus’ dogs eat their turkey they will go to an American restaurant and sing Christmas songs. Fa-ra-ra-ra-ra-ra Ra-ra-ra-ra. Damn Bumpuses!