Category: Creep Wear

These Skull Purses Are A Real No-Brainer

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

cool skull purseEtsy seller PoisonedStudios makes all kinds of cool skull purses that are frightening and fashionable, if you don’t mind carrying a cranium around with you. The Steampunk Skull shown above is $500.

They look like they could have been created from actual skulls, but they aren’t. Right? I mean, serial killers aren’t allowed to sell their crafts on Etsy. Right? Yeah, they are just really good artists. I kid. I kid. No need to hunt me down and make my brain pan hold your Maybeline and some travel tissues. Sorry. Only a numbskull would say that.

Click through to see some of their other cool skull purses.
Read more “These Skull Purses Are A Real No-Brainer”

Your Wipe Zone Is Now Clearly Defined: The Butt Face Towel

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

butt face towelWe’ve all been there. You get out of the shower and you wipe your face on your towel and for some reason it smells like butt. Eh, probably nothing. Just keep wiping. A few hours go by and you find a small constellation of hemorrhoids forming on your lower lip. Now you got butt-crud all over your face. All because someone else used your towel as dental floss for their crack.

The Butt Face towel will solve this problem. It has a clearly defined butt zone and a clearly defined face zone. Keep that butt-funk where it belongs. Only $13.27 from Amazon. Get some Butt Face soap too.

Bubble Yum Earrings Are Bubblicious

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

bubble yum gumHey baby. You are looking sweet as bubble gum and twice as sticky. Eh, that didn’t come out right. Just let me nibble on your ear a little. Other girls are Bubble Gum, but you are Bubble Yum.

Say what? I don’t know why you always lose an earring at my place. *blows a bubble* You may lose an earring, but the backside of your dress gains a sticky gum wad. *light smack on your fanny* Now git along now.

If Looks Could Kill: Murder Weapon Earrings

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

murder weapon earringsThese Murder Weapon earrings from Etsy seller PlumeriaMAccessories make murder weapons fashionable. You can choose from a Butcher’s Knife, Axe and a Hack Saw.

Murder them with fashion. Each of the weapons are nice and bloody as if little psychos had used them to hack someone to pieces, before you hung them on your ears. Only $7.13. Click through for the other versions.
Read more “If Looks Could Kill: Murder Weapon Earrings”

Beetlejuice Necklace

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

beetlejuiceI don’t have any evidence to support this, but this Beetlejuice Necklace may in fact keep Beetlejuice away if you say his name three times. In fact Beetlejuice-

Nuts! Now Michael Keaton is all up in my business, wearing way too much makeup and acting like he’s all hopped up on angeldust. Now I may have to spend $22 on this necklace to get rid of him.

What the hell is that racket? Stop going through my stuff man! How do I get rid of him? Oh, saying his name 3 times also gets rid of him? He’s gone now. I’m still ordering this necklace. Michael Keaton on crack is too messed up a house guest.