You know what time it is. Time for bats! Put this Bat Coffin Clock in your belfry and go batty. It’s a coffin. It’s a clock. Bats are everywhere! What more could you want? Halloween is fast approaching and you’re going to want to decorate. This is the perfect October clock right here. It’s Bat-tastic.
Category: Just Plain Weird
Hellraiser Welcome Mat
This Hellraiser Welcome Mat has a picture of pinhead. Also the words, “You knocked. We came”. which sounds kinda dirty. I’ve never been that excited about a visitor, but hey, whatever floats your banana boat. Your friends will look at this welcome mat and say, “That’s the home of a real Hellraiser right there”. Yeah, but he still wants you to wipe your damn feet! I work hard to keep these floors clean.
Roswell Alien Refrigerator Magnet
This Roswell Alien Refrigerator Magnet will be a great dietary tool for me, cuz everytime I go in the fridge for a snack, I’ll be reminded that aliens probe human butts. And I don’t want any of that bizz.
You know what, I really want some ice cream. Oh no! Not the alien head again. Their version of Double Fudge Delight is not the same as mine. And it involves a cold table and weird alien tools. Yeah, I’ll just go hungry.
Insane Asylum Candleholder
This Insane Asylum Candleholder is insane! Insane in the membrane! Completely loco. Off the rails. Not playing with a full deck. Not firing on all cylinders. Stark raving mad. I only know all of these phrases cuz people say them to me all of the time.
This candleholder reminds me of that time I went to the Canadian border and shouted, “I seek political asylum!” Ten hours later as I’m being dragged by my arms through a mental ward, I’m all like, “No, I said political! Political asylum. Not insane, Political!”
Frankenstein and Bride of Frankenstein Bar Stools
So Frankenstein and Bride of Frankenstein walk into a bar… That’s all I got, cuz I was so scared I left. But if you want them to visit your bar, get these cool Frankenstein and Bride of Frankenstein Bar Stools. Even monsters need a place to park their rumps. At least that’s what my wife says every time I enter the room, plop down into the chair and break it into a million pieces.
One chair has Franky’s face and the other features his bride’s face. If you buy these and put them in your home, they WILL come and run up a tab. I’ll come too as long as we have a tab going. I’ll have what he’s having. Even though he’s only having it cuz his wife’s face looks like that. Hey. don’t groan at me Frank, you married her.