It’s never too early for Krampus. Even if it isn’t Krampus time, you can enjoy this Krampus Display Head on your mantel. Give him a haircut and some moisturizer and he may even be more pleasant to look at. That’s what my mom said to my wife on our wedding day anyway. Don’t be a grumpus. Or a Wampus, buy yourself a Krampus. He looks crazy. Wampus bampus, thank you Krampus!
Did that make any sense? I woke up with med-head. It’s like bed-head, but due to meds.
Wanna learn your future? Consult the Serpents Tarot Card Deck. No really. It’ll work. I’m not a snake oil salesman, I swear. Besides, you ever try to wring oil out of a snake? It’s not as easy as it sounds. Especially with the snake trying to bite the whole time. So I usually just grip it tight and put some lipstick on it, maybe a tiny hat. Really demoralize it so it stops struggling. Anyway, deal out some cards and read someones fortune.
Wait. Is this deck so you can give snakes tarot card readings? I’m a lot more confused than I thought I was, which is really saying something.
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Oh. Check out these Miniature Skulls of the Fallen. I may be wrong, but I think they got the name cuz some fell down the stairs, another fell off a cliff, another fell in love (Dude fell hard) and another just wanted to stop the world and melt with you, but fell out of a tree. This is basically an instant skull set. If you like that sort of thing, which I do.
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Holy Mackerel. This Fish Zipper Pouch is exactly what I need when I go fish shopping.
“That will be $45 sir.” (I buy a lot of fish.) “I see a fish sticking out of your pocket sir! Did you steal that?”
“$45.That’s an outrage!” *Pulls my fish pouch out and slaps her with it.* Whoops! That didn’t make the squishy sound I expected on your face. Of course, I didn’t steal this one. It’s a pouch. I stole this one!”
*Whips a fish out of my other pocket and slaps her with it. Runs for the exit.*
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I’ve gotten some of my best gifts from random skeleton hands reaching out from my desk. This Raised Skeleton Jewel Box Sculpture is no exception. It is a lovely shiny skeleton hand holding a jewel box. It is embellished with Celtic crosses, skulls, cross bones and sparkling faux gems. It’s pretty awesome.
Never look a gift skeleton in the mouth. I mean hand.