Category: Just Plain Weird

Cthulhu Priestess: Our Lady of Squid

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Cthulhu Priestess Our Lady of Squid
This Cthulhu Priestess: Our Lady of Squid figure belongs on your altar. I know you have one cuz you worship Cthulhu. Well, now you have another deity to pray to. You know why her religion is taking off so fast? Cuz her church is full of suckers! Get it? Ha ha ha. Suckers. *crying* I really crack myself up. But really, this is Cthulhu’s wife so, it’s legit. I’m pretty sure it is sanctioned by the church and everything.

Our Lady of the Squid,
hallowed be your name.
Your tentacles come,
your will be done,
on earth, as it is in the sea.
Give us this day our daily terror,
and forgive us our non-tentacles arms….
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The Elderizer Electric Air Freshener

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The Elderizer Electric Air Freshener
Let an Elder Thing keep your area smelling fresh and fragrant. I know, that sounded bad. I didn’t mean “your area”. I mean the room that you are in. Silly guttersnipes. This The Elderizer Electric Air Freshener is the way to go. It brings the horror and the fresh scents. That’s a combo you don’t see every day.

It is based on an Elder Thing, as described in the Necronomicon of Abdul Alhazred, as well as the famed correspondence to Miskatonic University from the Mountains of Madness. If it drives you insane at least your home will smell nice.
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Poisoned Apple Witch Spell

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Poisoned Apple Witch Spell
Cool. I always wanted to know how to make a poisoned apple. Now I can, thanks to this handy Poisoned Apple Witch Spell. Nah, I’m not gonna poison anybody. That would be bad. It’s just a good trick to know. Let’s say someone is going to mug me in an alley. I’ll offer the dude an apple. If he still mugs me, he deserves what he gets. He’ll take my wallet and a bite of apple before he runs off. Then I’ll just follow in the direction of where he ran, eventually stumble on his corpse and retrieve my wallet.

You took a bite of the apple son. I took a bite out of crime. Deal with it loser.

Or I could, you know, just display this thing in my house during Halloween. Yeah, that’s morally the better choice. Probably.

Pink Mounted Werewolf Head

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Pink Mounted Werewolf Head
What can I tell ya. It was the 90s. There was a rave. A Werewolf attacked. So I took the pacifier out of my mouth, shoved my lightstick down it’s throat along with some X and this guy got less bloodthirsty. He’s all like, I wuv you man. I weally weally wuv you. I ever tell you that?” We partied all night then I took his head and decorated my house with this Pink Mounted Werewolf Head.

He’ll never raid a rave on a full moon again!
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Special Edition Cryptids Figures

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Special Edition Cryptids Figures
Holy crazy Cryptids! These Special Edition Cryptids Figures are cast in black resin, faux-painted with powdered metal in a clear acrylic suspension, then given an antique paint wash. All so you can collect them on your shelf. You can choose from pewter or bronze finish. You get Bigfoot, Jersey Devil, Chupacabra and Mothman.

BUT WAIT THERE’S MORE! They come with four double-sided Kollektor Kardz® with true-life information about each cryptid. That’s what I’m talkin’ about. Crypt-tacular!