Category: Just Plain Weird

Micro Fears Miniature Horror Figures

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Micro Fears Miniature Horror Figures
These Micro Fears Miniature Horror Figures are cool mini horror figures, cuz you can’t handle the full-sized horror.The seller has several cool figures to choose from, including Bigfoot, The Mummy, even some mini dioramas. Pretty sweet. I hope they make more. You don’t have such big feet now, do you? You big hairy, walking carpet. Why don’t you vacuum yourself you big carpet? Just messin’ with you.

Put these cool figures on your desk and play with them like action figures. I can’t wait to pit Bigfoot against The Mummy. My money is on the Mummy, because you don’t f**k with a guy brave enough to wrap himself in dirty toilet paper. What? That’s not his origin story? I thought he wrapped himself in used TP and died from diarrhea germs. That’s not how he got his costume and superpowers? Hmmm. He doesn’t seem so interesting now.
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Hellraiser Lament Configuration Fuzzy Dice Plush

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Hellraiser Lament Configuration Fuzzy Dice Plush
Check this out. These Hellraiser Lament Configuration Fuzzy Dice Plush are going to look awesome in that Hellraiser themed car I’m building. It’s a pretty simple build. I’m just putting huge pins all over it so it looks like a huge porcupine.

Update: I just finished, but I impaled myself while opening the door.

2nd Update: Had to take it to the mechanic. Then had to hide the evidence when I found all 3 mechanics impaled on the thing. One on the roof, one on the bumper and one on the trunk wearing a ball gag. Whatever that’s about. This may have been a bad idea. Time to report it stolen, wipe my prints and act not weird.

Kraken Bottle Candle Holders

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Kraken Bottle Candle Holders
Vile Kraken! Unhand my bottle! I mean un-tentacle that bottle ye spirit drinking serpent! Whatever. Just have it. Probably full of Kraken backwash by now anyway.

Krakens can’t keep their tentacles off of these Kraken Bottle Candle Holders. Obviously. I tried slapping that tentacle away and all I got was sucker punched. Get it? Cuz their tentacles are full of suckers? You know what else is full of suckers? A lollipop store! Zing! All day suckers! Double zing! Think about that next time you go into a candy store.
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Grim Reaper On Throne With Undead Skeleton Pet Statue

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Grim Reaper On Throne With Undead Skeleton Pet Statue
So this Grim Reaper On Throne With Undead Skeleton Pet Statue shows what Death is up to on his day off. He’s just chillin’ on his bone throne, with his skeleton pet by his side. Wait just a damn minute…

Is this what happens? He comes in the dead of night to take us away so he can have a new pet? Dude, that’s f***ed up! How many pets do you go through in a year anyway? WTF! They obviously don’t have a good track record. No wonder you have to keep collecting souls.

Great, so we all have that to look forward to! Being the Grim Reaper’s b**ch!

This Cat Butt Looks Like Voldemort

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This Cat Butt Looks Like Voldemort
Hmmm. I’m not seeing it. Oh there it is! Nevermind, that was just the mirror. This Cat Butt Looks Like Voldemort. From Harry Potter. I’ve seen cat butts that looked like Winston Churchill and I’ve seen cat butts that look like Harrison Ford, but I ain’t never seen no cat butt that looks like Voldemort. Until now.

Ohhhh. Now I see it. It also looks like he has a long tongue. Hairless cats are weird. Also, I’m pretty sure this is some kind of geek prophecy that heralds an end to nerds living in mom’s basement and the coming of an actual female.

Sweeeet! I better pack my stuff and shower real good!

via Neatorama