Category: Just Plain Weird

Horror Movie Light Switch Covers

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Horror Movie Light Switch Covers
These Horror Movie Light Switch Covers will remind everyone of the real horror to those over 30. Not turning the damn lights off! What, were you born in a barn? Like some little calf? All in the hay with birth-stuff all over you? Anyway, ScreamForMeInc has a variety of cool horror movie themed light switch covers. I had a giggle cuz the switch hole on THE THING cover is on his thing. Yes, I am immature. And I prove it every day around here. That’s why you are reading. *Sticks tongue out when you aren’t looking.*

You know what would be awesome? Putting the Amityville cover IN the Amityville house! We should sneak in and do it. Then take pictures and get ourselves caught. And by we I mean you. I ain’t no jailbird. Anyway, I don’t like that house’s eyes! Abort mission!
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Scary Skull Cup With Bone Jointed Handle

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Scary Skull Cup With Bone Jointed Handle
I can’t wait to have a beer in this Scary Skull Cup With Bone Jointed Handle. The bone handle is jointed… For your pleasure. I don’t even know what that means. I’m operating on the left side of a Twix bar and two red bulls. What happened to the right side of the Twix bar? Both sides are right. And if one side is wrong I don’t wanna be right. Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, this cool skull cup is my new drinking vessel of choice. BRING ME A SKULL FULL OF insert name of some kind of tough liquor that I should be manly enough to drink, but will make me cough and gag.

C’mon, let’s get drunk and slam our skulls together. THUNK! Ow!!!! I meant skull cups. Not my brain casing you stupid- What was I saying? WHO ATE MY LEFT TWIX? I only have the one. Or did I lose the left and I have the right? Why do they give you two? One would be much better for my OCD. I can’t eat it now, even if I could find it. See what you did! Wait. What are the signs of concussion? And where am I?

Black Widow Spider Glasses

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Black Widow Spider Glasses
Widows are the worst, all sex starved and groping you all the time cuz you’re a man and they need some sweet lovin’, but enough about my short career as a gigolo at a retirement community. These Black Widow Spider Glasses reminded me how grabby those blue haired ladies were.

These glasses are bad-ass, showing the deadly black widow in several poses like it’s a sexy spider calendar or something. I don’t blame male spiders for falling for the black widow’s tricks. I mean, ya see an hour glass on their back, you just figure it’s a tramp stamp. You figure it means she’s up for about an hour of fun and that’s it. Hell, that’s 59 minutes and 30 seconds more than I need.

But no, it means death. *Sad face*

Spider Coasters Make You Want To Slam Your Glass Down Hard

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Spider Coasters Make You Want To Slam Your Glass Down Hard
ACK! Kill it! *Slams glass down on the spider, sending grape soda everywhere, mostly in my face!* Oh Jesus! *Puts hand to chest to steady my heart.* Why did I think that spider coasters were a good idea?

*Looks down at my glass.* ACK! Spider in my drink! *Throws glass against the wall where it shatters.* Thank god! *Looks where the glass used to be, Sees spider coaster.* ACK! It was under my drink! *Runs to the fridge, gets another glass, fills it with beer, runs back, slams glass on spider, screams because the spider is still there. Breaks down sobbing.* Why? Why? Why?

Scary Stories To Tell In The Dark Candles

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Scary Stories To Tell In The Dark Candles
These Scary Stories To Tell In The Dark Candles will remind you to tell some scary stories when the power goes out. I’m only gonna be concerned with one story. The story about how I forgot to pay the power bill cuz I had to buy the new Star Wars figures this month. Let that be a lesson to you kids.

Thank god I only have a pint of curdled milk in the fridge. That was already bad. I think this is based on that Scary stories book by the same name. I have no idea. I scare way to easily. I mean I’m scared of reading. Because I have a powerful imagination. Reading may be fundamental, but to me it’s just mental. Uh-oh. Just conjured up a giant rabbit with fangs in my closet. I’ll be sleeping with my Teenage Mutant Ninja Toads nightlight tonight. Yeah toads. Mom bought the fifty cent knock-off version.