Category: Just Plain Weird

Skull Full Of Souls Box

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Skull Full Of Souls Box
This Skull Full Of Souls Box is a great place to keep all of your trinkets, candy,dice, whatever. Tormented souls are all over thing thing. Kinda like this blog. *Rim shot* Nah. I love ya all even if you do have problems. And I’m saying that wearing a sequinned dress made out of meat as I kick back glass after glass of whiskey.

Don’t judge. Not my fault I Quantum Leap all over the place. Once I set stuff right, I’m outta here. Today was “Try a sequinned dress made out of meat” day. Still haven’t leaped. Running out of ideas. F Lady Gaga anyway. *Falls and breaks neck.*

*Blue light everywhere. Leaping! I’m leaping!*

Oh THATS what needed to be set right!
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See How You Measure Up With Measuring Tape Toilet Paper

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See How You Measure Up With Measuring Tape Toilet Paper
Measuring Tape Toilet Paper is a great way to gauge how well your pooper is workin’. Are you wiping a two inch streak or a ten inch streak. Find out with this handy dandy toilet paper. It’s great for boredom while pooping too. You can measure body parts, the nearby window, your schmeckel, whatever. Then when you are all pooped out, wipe yourself and measure your skid mark if you want. I ain’t gonna stop ya.

It’s easy to get a long skid mark if your colon can’t put on the brakes and pinch that loaf clean. Yay! I win! Anyway you’re supposed to measure twice and poop once. Thrice on taco night.

Gothic Mansion Portraits Make Your Walls Weird

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Gothic Mansion Portraits Make Your Walls Weird
I don’t need this because my family portraits are all weird already, but these Gothic Mansion Portraits will put weirdos all over your walls. These Gothic Mansion Portraits will add an eerie air to the hallways and walls in your haunted house or office. You get two 65″ x 33.5″ sheets to make a scene over 5′ tall. Pretty freaky, therefore pretty awesome.

Now your house will look spooky and scary all year round. Note to whoever owns the Amityville house, your house already looks weird enough. Really. It has eyes. It can’t get any scarier.

Krampus In A Stocking Christmas Decoration

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Krampus In A Stocking Christmas Decoration
Krampus In A Stocking! Sounds like something I would say when I stub my toe. Krampus in a stocking that hurts! Usually, I just say, “Santa in a sh*t house!” Look at him all hanging out of his stocking, tongue out like Gene Simmons. He even has a bag of Krampus coal if you’ve been really bad. Looks like he’s really licking that beard. Must have left some food in there at dinner. Happens to me all the time.

Dude is crazy. This will probably piss Santa off big time if he sees this hung from your mantle. Maybe the real Krampus will appear and they will fight to the death. If Krampus wins you get all of the gifts in Santa’s sleigh. If Santa wins, you are screwed because you were celebrating with a false deity.
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Creepy Creatures In Tea Cups And Bowls

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Creepy Creatures In Tea Cups And Bowls
VoodooDelicious has some truly delicious voodoo. Can’t wait to try their hoodoo. They probably have hoodoo, but I love that voodoo that they do so well. Like these Creepy Creatures In Tea Cups And Bowls. Would you like sugar with your tea? Cream? A foreign organism of some sort? When true evil destroys the world one day, this is how it will be born into the world. Not from a pit in some toxic bog, not from some hole that connects to the center of the world, but from a tea cup in some old ladies house. Probably my grandma, cuz she is into some whacked out evil stuff. Next time she summons some freak from another dimension, I’m not coming over to sort it out this time to clean up her mess.

I like that guy in the second picture. He’s like a little old man, just chilling and getting all wrinkly. Relaxing before he climbs out and tries to conquer the world. Probably swaying my grandma with his charm and good looks. Probably braggin’ about how he doesn’t need a little blue pill. This guy is trouble.
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