Category: Just Plain Weird

Cthulhu Sasquatch Shadow Box Sculpture

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Cthulhu Sasquatch Shadow Box
This Cthulhu Sasquatch Shadow Box Sculpture looks like a photo captured of the beast in the wild. Is it more Cthulhu or more Sasquatch. I have no idea. Is it live or is it Memorex? Frankly, I can’t believe it’s not butter.

This thing looks like Chewbacca and Emperor Palpatine’s love child. I think his squatting in that grass is about more than just posing for the camera. I think he might be taking a huge steaming squatch. But I’m not Cthulhu/Bigfoot expert. I just think I see some of that foliage dying.

Life Size Universal Monster Horror Statues

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Life Size Universal Horror Monster Statues
Check out these Life Size Universal Monster Horror Statues from Workshop77. I guess their first 76 workshops got trashed by monsters. My only complaint is that there is no Creature From The Black Lagoon. Actually, my second complaint is that I can see the Invisible Man. He’s right there. Well, he was there a second ago. I swear. Anyway, all of your favorites are here, life sized and scary as the day you first saw them. Put ’em around your house and do the mash. The Monster Mash. It’s a graveyard smash!

Why ya gotta do vandalism? Somebody’s body is resting there.

Shut up hippy.

It’ll catch on in a flash.

What will?

The Monster Mash. I invited the ghost of Johnny Cash. He did the Monster Mash. Wa-oooooo
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Mannequin Soap: Now That’s Body Wash

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Mannequin Soap
Mannequin Soap. Touch that body. Work that body. Lather up that body. I like to use it until the booby mounds wear down, thereby changing the gender of the mannequin. I’ll have 200 please! Gonna put them all over my bathroom so people think I’m a serial killer.

“Where are the bodies you sick son of a-”

*Shrugs* All over my bathroom. You’ve seen ’em.”

“You wise-ass! Where did you dump them? I’m gonna see that you rot. Gonna make sure you get the death sentence.”

“Whoa! Hang on a second! For washing my hands with tiny mannequins? Good thing you guy’s didn’t see my wall of newspaper clippings and string flowcharts illustrating the takeover of our government by reptoid aliens who killed JFK and make crop circles for fun. Uh-oh… My right to be silent isn’t working. Obviously. Look, I’m just weird. I like weird soaps. Not the daytime variety though. Speaking of, shouldn’t a soap opera be lots of bubbles and a fat lady singing? See why the world is confusing for me? Are we done? It’s almost my nappy time.”

Dr. Frankenstein Antique Apothecary Jar Collection

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Dr. Frankenstein Antique Apothecary Jar Collection
You need to get your mad scientist lab in order. I’m not saying it isn’t up to code or anything. It’s just that you could use more cool stuff and you want your experiments to get super freaky and wild. Like this Dr. Frankenstein Antique Apothecary Jar Collection. It’s got everything an up and coming insane person could want to re-animate stuff, create mutants, turn your poop rainbow colored etc.

You get a customized jar with a hand sculpted human heart, a jar with a hand sculpted human liver(Goes nice with a bottle of Chianti and some fava beans), an antique style medical battery, a jar of human cadaver eyeballs, a flask on a metal base for blood storage and an antique style medical pump that works. Hot damn. I’m gonna finally create life. And not cuz I got a girl pregnant. *Screams* It’s alive! It’s alive! *Squish* It was a cockroach. I killed it. All good now. Man, I hate those things. What do you have to do to get rid of them? Actually clean your house?
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Concrete Cyclops Skull

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Concrete Cyclops Skull
Okay Cyclops Skull, keep an eye on the garden for me. Get it? If you do just say aye! I kid, I kid. I just like talking to my garden decorations. Say, I need to plug in the weed whacker. Do you have a spare socket? Zing! Burn! I got you so good. We are having so much pun. Wanna hear some music? I’ll get my eye-pad. Where is it? Hmmm. Keep an eye out for me will ya? Man, I crack myself up. *Drops skull in garden* Laterz. Eye have to go eat!

Next day…

*Walks out to the garden whistling. Trips over cyclops skull and gets impaled by a rake. Dying…* Eye…Eye…Eye sorry. Ha ha ha erg gasp choke gurgle dead.