M & M’s All Dressed Up Sculpture

M & M's All Dressed Up Sculpture
These m&m’s are going out on the town. They’re all dressed up with no where to go. Therefore they belong in my mouth. But sadly they would break my teeth since they are a bronze sculpture. A limited edition of 75.

They melt in your mouth, not in their suits! Limited edition? Puh-leaze! I’ve dressed up plenty of m&m’s in my day. *Points to m&m civil war diorama, where North and South(Peanut m&m’s) wage a chocolaty battle for the nation.* Shhhhh. Keep your voice down. They startle easy. They’re all shell shocked. War is hell man.

Zombie Mickey Mouse Skull

zombie mickey mouse skull
Whoa. Looks like Mickey found himself under an atomic bomb. This Zombie Mickey Mouse Skull looks like something the natives would shake at you upon entering Disneyland after the apocalypse. Which would fittingly be referred to as the crappiest place on Earth.

Mickey Mouse? More like Icky Mouse! Or moldy mouse. Here I come to save the dayyyyyy! Wait, wrong mouse. He even has fangs now. Maybe this is what happens when Disney puts all of it’s money into Star Wars.

Star Wars: The Virus Awakens – Ebola Fett

Star Wars The Virus Awakens - Ebola Fett
Damn son. Star Wars has gone viral! Like full Ebola. He doesn’t collect bounties. He infects them. This Ebola Fett figure comes with Glow in the Dark action! Limited infection of only 25 pieces.

Ebola Fett
Ridin’ dirty in a Vette.

Laboratory Playa,
Infecting Slave Leia.

Forming a contagion
of lyrical Invasion.

Fell into a pit
made the mighty Sarlacc Spit.

Yeah! The star wars vehicles these guys ride is your immune system.

Breast Milk Flavored Toothpicks

Breast Milk Flavored Toothpicks
Breast Milk Flavored Toothpicks. For when you absolutely need the taste of mother’s milk, but are like 40 years old. I’m just assuming. The seller says it’s for a “baby shower”, but I ain’t buying it. I didn’t just fall off the nerd truck yesterday. I was pushed off by my twin brother who wanted a womb all to himself. One day I’ll find him and get even. *Shakes fist.*

Anyway, like I was saying, I’m no idiot. “Baby shower.” Whatevs. It doesn’t rain babies. At least, not until I get to the party. Know what I mean gals? Bow chicka wow wow…
Read more “Breast Milk Flavored Toothpicks”

Monster Toad Head

monster toad head
Ribbit! Hey, look. A giant Monster Toad Head. I should totally kiss it and turn it into a Prince. Just to end it’s imprisonment. *Smooches it’s slimy face.* Well, that didn’t work. He’s still a toad. *Looks in the mirror.* What the deuce?!?! I’m a Prince. And not some dude that’s next in line to run a kingdom. I’m Prince as in Raspberry Beret. The kind you buy from the second hand store. This is friggin’ awesome. *Adjusts my frilly shirt.*

I’m out guys. Tonight I’m gonna party like it’s 1999, which means I have to buy a flip-phone and get ready for Y2K.
Read more “Monster Toad Head”