Category: Just Plain Weird

Mad Scientist 1:12 Miniature Laboratory Set

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Miniature Laboratory Set
Sweet. A Mad Scientist 1:12 Miniature Laboratory Set. For very tiny Mad Scientists. Why are scientists so mad anyway? Probably because they have to wear lab coats all the time and can’t rock a fancy sweater-vest or UFO Jacket.

I’m buying it. That way if someone ever shrinks me down, I have a lab already set up and can make a potion to make me big again. *Knocks back a test tube full of blue junk.* Glug glug glug. It’s working! It’s working! *Head braeks through the ceiling. Stuck there. Looks around at the roof and birds and stuff.*

Good thing I’m prepared. Ordered another set to keep on the roof in case of exactly this kind of emergency. Now where’d it go. I- Da Fuq? Get away from that lab, squirrel! Is that meth? Oh sh*t. It’s all methed up and coming for me.
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Ouija Board Coffee Table

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ouija board coffee table
Thanks for inviting me over for coffee. What’s this?

That’s my new Ouija Board Coffee Table. Let’s ask it a question.

Cool. I’ll start? Are there any spirits in the house?

*Grabs a bottle of Jim Beam and smashes it against his head.*

There’s your f**king spirits! What are you crazy? I hate ghosts.

Fantasy Creatures From Another Dimension

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Creepy Little Creatures
I’m pretty sure these Fantasy Creatures from Sweetsign would bite my hand off if I tried to pet them. So I’ll probably never ever touch them. I’ll just throw bed crumbs at them, until I have a huge mound of moldy bread in front of the shelf that they are occupying. Then I still won’t feel safe. And I’ll have bugs. Which they will probably love. They’ll come off of the shelf, eat a few bread bugs, then go back to displaying themselves. Then they’ll demand more bugs. Which takes more moldy bread….

What I’m trying to say is, this is why my house is a pigsty. You think I like living like this? I got freaky little creatures to feed! I used this same line on my wife when we first started dating. Sucker! *Runs around the room like a Tasmanian Dirt Devil, stirring up a filth tornado and laughing maniacally.* I’ll never be clean. NEVER!
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The Fowl Awakens: Chickens In Star Wars Costumes

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chickens in star wars costumes
What the cluck? I’m not sure if this is several Chickens in Star Wars Costumes or just a one-chicken Star Wars show. There’s Hen Solo, Princess Lay-A, ChewBAWKa and Cluck-3PO. I don’t even care, I would watch the hell out of this Broadway play. Put ’em in some star wars vehicles and make ’em sing.

Then again, I just watched the dryer toss clothes for like an hour. It was okay, but the plot was a little dry. Could have used a dryer sheet. I felt like they just threw a bunch of stuff in just to see how it all tumbled around. I can only blame myself as the director. Friggin’ diva actors. CUT! You’re a pair of crusty old jeans. Act like it. “Well, what is my motivation? Am I happy that the wash didn’t remove the giant sh*t stain or does it eat at my soul?” It speaks to your mortality and a spastic colon as you strive for a better life. Just dive in already. ACTION!
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Crazy Dollhouse Miniature Halloween Food

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dollhouse halloween food
Etsy seller PiccoliSpazi makes Halloween food dishes for your dollhouse. As if you playing with dolls at your age isn’t creepy enough.*Quickly hides my Star wars action figures. You’re crazy. Why would I make Luke and Leia kiss. Never happened.* You can choose from all kinds of crazy and scary dishes like fingers, eyes, brains and more. Barbie and Ken are eating good in da neighborhood.

If I show up at your dollhouse in a costume, can I get candy from that house? Hopefully some Kit-Kats? Cool. I’ll be right over! I’ll bring Barbie’s cousin Stacy and we can play all night. So what if I know who Barbie’s cousin is. I’m still manly. Kinda.
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