Category: Just Plain Weird

Stainless Steel Jail Cell Toilet & Sink Removed From Police Station

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prison toilet
Cool. Now I can have an authentic Jail cell toilet and sink. I hope they cleaned out all of the convict pee pee and poopy. This is the perfect toilet for me, because every time I poop, it feels like my colon is serving 30 to life. It’s made of stainless steel, but you and I both know that once you get home from Taco Bell, there’s gonna be a stain of epic proportions. Don’t do the crime if you can’t do the time! Ha ha ha.

And as far as wee wee goes, you have to drain your dragon in a toilet made for the penal system. Get it? Penal system? Well, I’m off to trade some smokes for my continued virginity.
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Basket Full Of Skulls

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skull eggs basket
Nothing says creepy like a basket full of skulls. Hey, why not? I put a basket of fruit on the counter and it just goes bad. It’s not like I eat fruits and vegetables. If I did, I would not have just marked the second week of no pooping on my calendar. It has now become an official holiday, since my cramps made me stay home from work today. My boss does not agree.

Nah. I lied. I don’t work. My full time job remains squeezing and grunting until I pass out. Sure it would be much easier if I just ate a friggin’ vegetable once in a while, but I ain’t no quitter. I start something, I see it through. I’ll get it out eventually. How the hell did I get from “basket of skulls” to this?

Just stressed. I’m pooped from trying to poop.
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Diablo Night Light

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diablo night light
Put your kids to bed with a night light based on the ultimate dark one himself, Diablo. This Diablo night light will have your kid a shivering wreck as he or she tries to sleep, praying to their God in Heaven that this beast does not drag them down into the underworld.

Make sleepy time a highway to hell. It measures 4″ x 6″ x 2.5″, but will seem much larger as it glows it’s fearsome glow into the darkness.

Nightmare Decor: Nosferatu Head

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nosferatu vampire taxidermy head
Bring me the head of Nosferatu at once! Damn, that was fast! To be honest, I’m not sure what to do with it now that I have it. Didn’t really think you would deliver.

This Nosferatu head looks terrifying from one side and extra terrifying from the other. That’s because the other side is exposed so you can see his brains. This might not have happened had he not been so negative. Nosferatu. Pffft! How about YESferatu? He was always so contrary.
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Brain Specimen Coasters

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brain specimen drink coasters
Hey! Don’t put your drink on my coffee table and stain it! Use your brain! Oh, I see you brought your own Brain Specimen Coasters. I didn’t mean that so literally, but cool. Pass me a slice for my Mountain Dew.

So…Hard to talk about anything else when you got slices of brain all over your table. I can’t think of anything cerebral to say. Uh, you didn’t actually make those yourself right? No, I don’t want to know. Thanks for giving me a piece of your mind, by the way. I hate spillage and stains on my table. Yet I don’t seem to mind brains. Is that weird?
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