Category: Just Plain Weird

Cat Butt Coasters: The Quicker Pucker-Upper

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cat butt coffee coasters
Tired of friends leaving sweat rings or drink stains on your tabletop? No worries. Try these Cat Butt Coasters: The Quicker Pucker-Upper. Just lay them out when you have company and these little clenched up Cat butts will keep your surfaces clean.

Keep them away from that one guy. You know, that one guy everybody knows, who has to be the joker and like, starts pushing M & M’s through the pink knitting in the center. He’s all like, hey look at this guys. He gives a chocolate suppository to the coaster and embarrasses everybody, so that you regret even inviting him over. Yeah, sadly I am that guy.

Baby Head Theremin

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Baby Head Theremin
This Baby Head Theremin is the scariest musical instrument ever. It’s eyes glow red. And since you play a theremin by moving your hands in the air, you will basically look like you are rubbing a creepy baby head for a long time and making a wish. I wish I had a real musical instrument. I wish you would stop looking at me baby! You’re ruining my performance. I wish you were less creepy. I wish I wasn’t all out of wishes!

Just imagine the creepy music of a theremin combined with this monstrosity. It has some kind of fancy sensor on the top of it’s head where the soft spot is on a baby too, making all the weirder.
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The HeadBlade: A Car Head Shaver That Is Fast And Furious

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headblade shaverThe Headblade shaver is basically a razor with a little matchbox car attached. Vroom. Vroom. Ride and groom. It lets those bald tough guy types shave their heads super fast and super furious! Well, this one looks like an ATV, which I guess is fine, because it is going off road and onto bald mountain.

Maybe buy two. That way you and a buddy can get some racing action going on another friend’s head. Put some Nintendo figures on these and you can call it Super Mario Shavers. “Why does my head feel all bloody guys?” That’s not blood. It’s red mud. These tires really tear up the track. Quit your crying and keep still. I’m almost caught up to Luigi.
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Crazy Ronald McDonald Up-cycled Vinyl Record & Clock

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ronald mcdonald record clock
WTF? Did I just stumble into the McDonalds-land delivery room? Yes. Yes I did. This is a Ronald McDonald Vinyl Record & Clock. The scene being depicted is of the Clown Prince of GMO delivering what is apparently his own baby, who is already wearing a weird little rope diaper. Also a portal to hell has opened in the upper right, letting in a bunch of eyeball bats.

Raise him right Ronald. Learn from your mistakes with Grimace and the Hamburglar. Mayor McCheese was the only kid that really made something of himself. A Cheeseburger.

Pet Paint Will Turn You Into A Real Pug-Casso

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dog spray paint
Awwww sweet! Pet paint lets you go all graffiti artist on your dog or cat. I’m gonna wear a striped shirt and a beret while painting a renaissance revival fresco on my rottweiler. I have no idea what those words mean. I just heard them on the TV and know I should say them when talking about art. Also, don’t have a rottweiler, but that would be awesome.

Now that I know about this I am gonna paint my cat’s fur so it looks like she’s a gerbil. Then I’m gonna find Richard Gere and scare the bejesus out of him.
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