Game Of Thrones Dragon Rings And Eggs Set

dragon rings
Be the mother of dragons with this awesome Game Of Thrones Dragon Rings And Eggs Set. Just like Daenerys Targaryen, you will have these little dragons wrapped around your finger. Literally. And unlike Daenerys, you won’t have to worry about dragon poop, which is fiery and nasty and smells like goats. That will leave you with a smoking stump and an appreciation of dragon digestion for sure.

You get 3 Dragon Rings with their 3 Dragon Eggs which act as a kickass jewelry box for them. The divided halves of the eggs are linked by a hinged base which holds the dragon by his tail. Trust me these rings will get you noticed more than Hodor saying his name over and over again during an AA meeting. The whole set is $185.
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Fortune Cookie Coin Purse

fortune cookie coin purse
I see a Fortune Cookie Coin Purse in your future. These Fortune Cookie Coin Purses look so real, you’ll want to eat them, but don’t. Trust me on this one. A purse full of pennies, nickels and dimes do nothing for your dental health. Yeah, I carry a purse! So what? It’s convenient. Plus, I’m the only one prepared to get revenge on all of those old ladies who take an hour to pay for their groceries with coins. I like to get ahead of them and give them a taste of their own medicine.

These fun purses even come with a printed fortune paper inside of each one. I see only one problem. *sprouts blue cookie monster fur* Me want real cookie! Give me cookie now!

Chained Octopus Necklace

chained octopus necklace
I don’t have to tell you that Octopuses belong in chains. These ink squirting monstrosities are scary as hell. It’s because of these guys and sharks that I don’t get in the water. Ever. Screw you kraken! Still, this Octopus necklace is pretty stylish, even though I wouldn’t trust him around my neck, chained up or no. Octopuses are all grabby and clingy. Kinda like me on a date. They would call me Cthulhu. If they called at all. *sad face*

The seller has all kinds of cool necklaces. Some of them are other dangerous sea creatures too. Like the Zombie Octopus and Jellyfish below. Wear them at your own peril.
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Bone Parasol: It’s Raining Skulls And Bones

bone parasol
If the weather is calling for a Goth downpour of epic proportions, this Bone Parasol has you covered. It has a casting of a hawk skull at its tip and a casting of a rabbit skull on the handle. Not enough? There are also eight quail skulls dangling from the spokes.

The woman in these images looks beautiful and dangerous. It’s true. I want to approach her, but I’m too shy. Anyway, that’s beside the point. She’s not exactly dressed for going out in the rain and she’s going to catch her death of cold.

That’s my in. As she stands there shivering in the rain, bones swaying in the wind like a demented set of wind chimes, drippy makeup making her look all extra sad, I’ll drop by like the hero I am and offer her my jacket.*end dream sequence*

Nah. It’s too damn cold for that. She should have spent her money on a nice warm jacket first and THEN saved up for a creeptastic bone parasol. That’s like responsibility 101. Some lessons are best learned hard my dear. Perhaps we will meet again one day. I’ll roll the skull dice.
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MySack Golf Ball Storage Sack

golf ball sack
You need some golf ball storage? Just use MySack. The MySack Golf Ball Storage Sack. Nah. Go ahead. Take it. I’m not using it. Just hang MySack from your belt. Make sure you fondle it occasionally, just to make sure your balls have all dropped to the bottom. Don’t worry, it will feel soft since it is made of ultra suede. Just don’t overdo it. It’s sensitive. Oh and keep it dry to avoid shrinkage.

You’re welcome.