Man, rich people have all the fun and luxury stuff. By rich people, I mean people with $100 to spend. Like this insane silver dinosaur head. It will probably be on the wall in some house that has a baby. People will be all like, “Were you born with a silver spoon?”
And he’ll be all like, “No, but we had a silver dinosaur head! So yes I am better than you. Now, where were we? Oh yes. I said PASS THE GREY POUPON you peasant! Chop chop!”
You aren’t a man until you have ridden an Elven Warrior Lamb into bahhhhh-ttle and lived to tell the tale. They are fierce beasts with unicorn horns and a woolly resolve.
It’s really weird too, because “on the lamb” means on the run, so when your battle commanders shouts “on the lamb, now you idiots” people just run. That’s probably why our LARPing guild only needs one of these guys.
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I love that show with the transforming and ink squirting octopi. “Ink squirters. More than meets the eye.” Octo-mus Prime is my favorite. Wait. I’m mixing stuff up again. Which usually starts with mixing meds. I have no idea what I’m saying, or even where I am half the time, but if there is one thing we can agree on it is this: Octopussy was not the best James Bond flick, but it had the best name.
Another thing we can agree on? That this Octopus Hoodie is the coolest effin hoodie in the hood any day of the week. (Almost typed day of the weak which is everyday for me.) Don’t believe me? Then I’ll shoot you with my Glock…topus. Son.
I’ll leave you with this bit of wisdom: You kids think tats are awesome and all, but Octopus wrestlers were getting inked long before it was cool. Think about it.
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All aboard! This Large Whale Submarine Cutaway lets you experience the inner workings of the largest mammals on Earth and see the men inside who drive them. They aren’t the dwarfs and elves I thought they were. It’s a whale of a good time.
A great catch. The deadliest catch? Enough sea references. I heard you telling me to shut my blow-hole. Well shiver me timbers and quiver me giblets, my giblets ain’t been this quivered since me timbers were delivered. That there is wordstuff coming full circle matey. Yer mind be blown. *Hand gestures explosion*
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appendageaccessories sells all kinds of cool animal masks, which are perfect for your secret animal identities. I know I have a secret identity when I sleep. I wear the Pug dog mask. He goes by the name of Pugsy Malone and likes to chew on old shoes and pee in corners and play humpy time with stuffed animals. Until the wife hits me with rolled up newspaper. That’s how I know it’s time to actually sleep. I know it doesn’t seem like it, but I get the rest of my life when I wear that mask.
Sometimes I’m the cat and I stay up all night meowing, with the occasional poop and pee in a box, only to wake up and find that my keys and wallet were in there.
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