Tag: art

Creepy And Colorful Toy Sculptures

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Creepy And Colorful Toy Sculptures
Check out these cool toy sculptures by Seymour. They’re all trippy and freaky and scary like. This is like the land of Adventure Time only with more magic mushrooms. Or demonic Garbage Pail Kids from another dimension.

I like that hamburger dude wearing his brains on his crotch area. I can relate. I’m told that I think with my crotch all the time. I should probably send my crotch to college and better it. Get it a degree. Maybe Ivy league. Nah, Ivy would make my crotch itch. Anyway, I’m calling this guy “Purple Nerd Burger”. Check out some even trippier sculptures below. I gotta go. I just dropped in to see what condition my condition was in.yeah. yeah. oh yeahhhhh!
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Art Painted By A Squirrel

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art painted by a squirrel
This is a supposed painting by a squirrel name Winklehimer. You can check out a video here, but you won’t see it paint a picture. You’ll just see a squirrel nibble on the end of a brush while it’s desperate human tries to cash in on the fact that it can “paint”. I hate to prolong her 15 minutes of fame, but credit where credit is due: It’s better than I can do.

My wife gets me to paint in the same way. She puts a twinkie on the end of the brush and holds a paper up to the brush end while I nibble away. No way I’m letting her profit off my art though. That’s why all my art says, “Get more twinkies!” in bold brushstrokes.

Those who can, do. Those who can’t, teach…A squirrel to not do art.
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This Magma Neckpiece Looks Lava-ly

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magna necklace
This Magma Neckpiece is hot. Scorching. Women look lava-ly in magma. You make me blow my top girl! Guys, do yourself a favor and buy this for your lady. Don’t be cheap like me. *Flashes back to two years ago*

……

What is my surprise?

Just keep your blindfold on. It’s almost ready.

I’m so excited. What is it?

Well, you remember how you wanted that magma neckpiece? I made you one myself. Open your eyes.

Uh…This is like a drippy plastic melted candle…

Yeah, I opened a couple of lava lamps and dumped it on a mannequin head. Then cut the head off to make the hole. You’re welcome.

It feels hot still. Why is my shirt smoking.

Why indeed? Where did it pick up that habit? From a nun? Heh. I crack myself- Ow! I’ll grab the fire extinguisher.

Worry Warts Sculptures

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Worry Warts Sculptures
See, this is why I don’t need any stress in my life. Worry Warts. I had no idea these things were real. Now I know. It’s not the questionable women from questionable places that I sleep with giving me those weird bumps. It’s the WORRYING about what they might give me that gives me those bumps. These guys are a dead ringer for the bumps I got after picking up that female mechanic last week. Right down to the 3 hairs on their head.

She was a mechanic?

Yeah, a tranny. Works on transmissions and stuff. Duh!

Die Antwoord Baby Rat Taxidermy

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Die Antwoord Baby Rat Taxidermy
Check out this piece of Die Antwoord Baby Rat Taxidermy. If you don’t know who Die Antwoord is, I feel sorry for you. They are awesome and weird as f**k. Look them up now and either be blown away or totally freaked out by their music videos.

Ninja and Yolandi have never looked better. Actually they have. But not by much. Now I have that song going through my head. “I fink you’re freaky and I like you a lot!”. That’s kinda how I feel about this piece.