Hey baby! You look great in that Bottle Cap Dress. You must have drank a ton of Bud Light and Coors and been tipsy on that sewing machine. So glad we met through that beercrafting dating service. You like my cowboy hat? Nah, we don’t stand out. Do you think we stand out?
I am totally getting some tonight. You know how I know? Psst! *Whispers* I brought a bottle opener.
This beer bottle cap dress is like a suit of drunken armor that you can wear to your next crazy party.
I always knew that Barbie was a demon spawn from hell, bent on ruining the lives and the credit scores of those she touches with her fiery demon heart. Sorry, was talking about my ex Barbie, who is also a succubus. No, this doll actually looks much friendlier.
According to the seller this Barbie is named “Lacertia and she comes from the planet Nocturnia, a magnetic colossal asteroid. When she isn’t shopping, she is destroying other worlds with a smile on her face!”
See, now I’m confused, because it sounds like the demon I knew.
This doll was modified using Bobcat bones, with cat bones in her wings and scythe. It’s like the Grim Reaper is a little girl and this is the toy that daddy Reaper conjured up for her. This doll probably lives in the Malibu Nightmare house and sleeps in a cocoon of Ken’s skin.
Read more “Crazy Demonic Succubus Barbie Doll Made With Cat Bones”
I don’t have to tell you that Octopuses belong in chains. These ink squirting monstrosities are scary as hell. It’s because of these guys and sharks that I don’t get in the water. Ever. Screw you kraken! Still, this Octopus necklace is pretty stylish, even though I wouldn’t trust him around my neck, chained up or no. Octopuses are all grabby and clingy. Kinda like me on a date. They would call me Cthulhu. If they called at all. *sad face*
The seller has all kinds of cool necklaces. Some of them are other dangerous sea creatures too. Like the Zombie Octopus and Jellyfish below. Wear them at your own peril.
Read more “Chained Octopus Necklace”
Sit down and relax awhile in this Frankenstein Chair With Hands. Cuz that’s how Franky walks. Get it? With his arms stretched out, big man hands flapping all over the place?
It looks pretty comfy as far as Franken-furniture goes. I don’t know though. I’m holding out for a full living room set that includes a Dracula love seat and a Wolfman pelt rug. This chair does go with anything though. These monsters are universal. Get it? That’s a little movie humor. I’m awesome like that.
This crazy Spider Lamp has a big old butt that lights up. At least this spider makes it’s presence known. It’s the ones you can’t see that you have to worry about. The ones in your corners, the ones gently repelling down from the ceiling, the ones under your blankets at night…
You’re welcome. If it makes you feel any better, I’m all itchy and paranoid now too, but that may just be the result of 3 Red Bulls and a bag of Kit-Kats. I do what I have to for you guys, working all kinds of hours. Is it normal to see dust orbs that turn into angels and then rummage through your underwear drawer, while losing all feeling in your left hand?